The Trump Files

"Would Elon Musk lie to me? Yes, AI-generated, and so cleverly done that it's almost like stealing votes to rig the 2020 election...so cloaked in secrecy that only Harris, Walz and their immediate families are aware of what's going on..."

"Well, some AI specialists must know about it..."

"Yes, them too. We caught some of them bringing their equipment in paper bags and suitcases, after hours, into the White House. When Kamala saw what they were doing, she laughed like a lunatic."

"That is shocking, sir...and a reminder of what you and others saw during the last election..."

"Yes, the Dems will stop at nothing to make sure they win. To see that doesn't happen, we have placed patriotic and hard-working Americans on many local election boards to make sure the vote count goes our way...what I mean is, make sure it's fair and accurate..."

"That sounds unbiased and reasonable, sir."

"It is...unlike my opponents who insist that votes should even be counted even AFTER election day...If they'd stopped the count on election day four years ago, I'd have carried every state including California..."

"In logic, Mr president, that's known as an hypothesis contrary to fact..."

"I don't know about hypnosis, Pete, only that there's no way I could have lost an election to Sleepy Joe Biden..." "And what about Kamala Harris?"

"Even more so. As I told you, she's too dumb to be elected, and her policies have failed miserably..." "Not to put too fine a point on it, sir, but as vice president she made no policies; she only carried out those programs approved by the president."

"Maybe so...but I can still blame her for them..."

"And what about her running mate, Tim Walz?" "You mean the ASSISTANT football coach who claims credit for winning a state championship?

He's a loser who's downright weird..." "He returns the compliment, sir. Well, moving on...you were obviously elected president in 2016 and again in 2020...and yet here you are running again in 2024, even though the Constitution says no one can serve more than two terms as president..."

"I said I was ELECTED twice, not that I SERVED twice! Joe Biden and his crooked gang of Democrat thieves stole the second election from me, making sure I couldn't SERVE as president, even though it's clear to everyone with eyes and ears that I won the election by a landslide..."

"There's no denying your reasoning, sir..."

"Of course not. It's the same reason people aren't eating hot dogs anymore...and don't get me started on Hannibal Lechter..."

"Let's move on to policy, Mr president. We know you've been tough on Harris about the immigration issue..."

"Absolutely. She and Biden have been weak on the border, whereas I built a wall..."

"And made Mexico pay for it; right, sir?"

"I would have if it wasn't for the language barrier...they thought I said they should 'play on the wall...'"

"And so they have, sir. Over it, under it, around it..."

"You've made your point, Pegleg. What we need is less immigration from Central and South America and more from western Europe..."

"And why is that, sir?"

"Well, those people are not only far better educated but more law-abiding. No rapists, murderers, drug traffickers..." "That's certainly a plus. And when it comes to skin tone, sir, they pale in comparison to those from south of the border..."

"Yes, there's that too—but I am NOT a racist! As I've always said, there are good people on both sides..."

"That you have, sir. And the border is a topic that is sure to be raised in your debate with vice president Harris on September 10..."

"Well, the truth is I may or may not show up for that one..."

"And why would that be, sir?"

"There are some details that still have to be worked out. I've heard nasty rumors that the media plan to fact-check me later..."

"And you're saying they shouldn't?"

"Yes, because it's not only an invasion of my privacy but totally unnecessary. Every answer I give on any topic is by definition the truth, as it is sworn to by a former president with total immunity from lying...or anything else...even though the fake news media don't always agree..."

"So when you say you've drawn crowds larger than the March on Washington and have been more harshly treated than any president—including Lincoln—you are telling the truth?" "Of course. As for the crowds—well, you can see that for yourself. Just look at how many people were at my inauguration...I promise you've never seen a bigger crowd than that, even at MLK's sham 'march...'and as for being mistreated as president, I was SHOT, for God's sake!"

"That's true, sir. But Lincoln—not to mention presidents Garfield, McKinley and JFK..."

"Yes, I know...they were assassinated...but they didn't suffer like me...my ear still hurts every day..."

"I am truly sorry about that, sir. And as you are in pain, we have probably talked far too long..."

"Not all all, Pete. I've enjoyed every minute. Not like my opponents—may locusts invade their tour bus—who try to avoid any contact with the media..."

"Well, they did sit for an interview, sir..."

"And I held a Town Hall! To quote Irving Berlin (I'm not an anti-semite either), 'anything they can do, I can do better, I can do anything better than they...'would you like me to sing that for you?"

"Some other time, sir. Even we pirates aren't immune to cruel and unusual punishment..."

Dark Brandon: A Very Strong Case Why MAGA Voters Are Stupid

September 12, 2024

Well, here we are at September 12, folks, which means among other things that the Great Debate between vice president Kamala Harris and former president Donald Trump has at last ended and is rapidly fading into our collective rear-view mirror.

While I wasn't present at the seven historic Lincoln-Douglas debates in 1858, I doubt that this one came anywhere near matching any of them in terms of style or substance. In musical parlance, it was more like a debate between a cymbal and a lyre. Kamala Harris represented a cymbal of forward motion and hope for the future, while the lyre was doing what lyres do best, using every trick in his vast storehouse of falsehoods to try and persuade an audience that the cymbal was off-key and that it was he who was plucking a more harmonious tune.

So who "won" the face-off? For most onlookers, the answer depends almost entirely on whether they have a "D" or "R" after their name. As I have neither, my entirely impartial opinion is that Harris mopped the floor with Trump, outclassing and dominating him at every turn and on every issue. As vice president, Harris said, she has traveled the world and its leaders "are laughing at us. They say you are a disgrace."

Trump responded by citing Viktor Orban, the ruthless autocrat who rules Hungary, as saying the former president is "the most feared" leader.

Which may actually be close to the truth, more than likely because Trump has pledged that, if elected in November, he will track down, prosecute and imprison everyone who has ever done him wrong up to and including the 12-year-old classmate who refused to share his luncheon treat—chocolate chip cookies—when Trump was in sixth grade. "I'll never forgive him for that," Trump has been quoted as saying. "Anything else I could overlook—but chocolate chip cookies? I promise you, as president, that I'll find that selfish bastard and lock him up."

On the key issue of immigration, Trump pivoted quickly to Haitians in Ohio, claiming their favorite weather forecast is "it's raining cats and dogs!" Rumors and innuendo about Haitian immigrants eating said household pets must be true, Trump said, as he had "seen it on TV."

Not to contradict you, Donald, but there is no actual proof that any of those alleged misdeeds has actually taken place. As far as anyone in Ohio or anywhere else can determine, the claim clearly is false—but on the bright side, nowhere near as false as your recent assertion that migrants who cross our southern border are taking "107 percent" of jobs from hard-working Americans, especially blacks and Latinos. When you were in school, what exactly were your grades in math?

Trump was asked a number of "yes" or "no" questions, all of which he evaded with the usual potpourri of gibberish, evasion and word salad. Would he veto legislation sanctioning a federal ban on abortion? Does he want Ukraine to win its war with Russia? Does he have a workable plan to replace Obamacare? And so on. While his loyal base was no doubt pleased with the non-answers, it's hard to imagine that anyone else could have been. Truth is, it would take even the most astute observer several days or more to unravel what the former president was actually saying.

He did come down hard on Joe Biden, calling him "the worst president in American history" while somehow neglecting to add "present company excluded," thus prompting Harris to remind him, "You're not running against Joe Biden; you're running against me."

Nor, as Trump was repeatedly reminded, was he debating Joe Biden but a more focused and aggressive adversary who "Trumped" his every move in the cleverest way possible, taking dead aim at his massive ego to lure him into her carefully designed traps. Time after time, Trump snapped up the bait, leaping eagerly into the breach and advancing in whatever direction Harris urged.

Why? Because when it comes to narcissistic arrogance, Trump simply can't help himself. In his mind, he is always the "winner," in any discussion or contest, and so he had no idea that, as Harris said of his relationship with Vladimir Putin and other dictators, he was being "eaten for lunch." That is why, after the debate, Trump visited the debate's "spin room" to claim (falsely) that "polls" had him winning the debate by anywhere from a 76 to 90-plus margin, pausing only when someone from the press asked, "Where are you getting those numbers?"

The answer, of course, is that Trump was "getting those numbers" from the same place he gets most other information: his absurdly distorted and thoroughly muddled brain. There were no "polls" declaring him the clear winner, especially so only a few moments after he and Harris had left the stage. But Trump has never let truth get in the way of any narrative in which he vanquishes his opponent, as underscored by the 2020 presidential election, which he continued to claim during Tuesday's debate that he had "won."

Asked during the debate if, after nine years trying to demolish the Affordable Care Act, he had a better plan with which to replace it, Trump replied, "I have concepts of a plan."

And that, in a nutshell, is all you really need to know about the man who wants to return to the White House after the November election. He has no plan, for Obamacare or anything else, only vague "concepts" he hopes voters will buy into. As Johnny Carson once famously said about comedy routines, "If you buy the premise, you buy the bit."

Replace the word "premise" with "promise" and you have Trump's only argument for a second term in office: empty promises that, when added together, equal exactly zero, as the only promises Donald Trump ever keeps or even seriously considers are those he makes to himself. The others are no more than window dressing, designed to help ensure his re-election in November.

Trump, however, remains one of the world's slickest and most masterful con men, and far too many Americans have "bought the premise" he is so deceptively offering. Enough to return him to the White House? Only time can tell.

September 23, 2024

When considering people who clearly were ahead of their time, the name George Orwell is often at or near the top of almost everyone's list, and for good reason. In 1949, Orwell, an author and journalist, completed his ninth and final book, the prophetic 1984, a cautionary tale whose narrative is centered on the sinister consequences of totalitarianism, mass surveillance and the repressive disruption of people and behaviors in a given society. Within its pages, he warned of despotic leaders like the omnipresent Big Brother and his cult of personality enforced by the Thought Police and Ministry of Truth, and coined ambiguous, perplexing but no less meaningful terms as "blackwhite" and "doublespeak." Although the word doublespeak doesn't appear in Orwell's work, it is derived from its near cousins, "doublethink" and "Newspeak," which do.

The writer Edward S. Herman has defined the principal characteristics of doublespeak as "the ability to lie, whether knowingly or unconsciously, and to get away with it; and the ability to use lies and choose and shape facts selectively, blocking out those that don't fit an agenda or program."

As for blackwhite, it has been described as follows: "When applied to an opponent, it means the habit of impudently claiming that black is white, in contradiction of the plain facts. Applied to a Party member, it means a loyal willingness to say that black is white when Party discipline demands this. But it means also the ability to BELIEVE that black is white, and more, to KNOW that black is white, and to forget that one has ever believed the contrary."

Big Brother. Doublespeak. Blackwhite. Sound familiar? Perhaps as though the concepts could have arisen yesterday—or at least within the last nine years or so? They are, after all, close kin to the principles of misinformation, disinformation and obfuscation that seem to dominate today's political discourse, especially on the right, and have arisen for the most part from the same disreputable sources.

There are plenty of would-be Big Brothers ruling or trying to rule countries around the world, and here in the cradle of democracy we have someone who would not only love to join the club but become its most ubiquitous and decisive—not to mention divisive—voice. High marks if you guessed that our country's wannabe Big Brother is none other than former president Donald J Trump. On the other hand, who else could it be? Trump has been preparing to assume that autocratic role for years, finally disclosing—on national television, no less—that if re-elected in 2024, he would be "a dictator on Day One." And after Day One? Well, how many dictators have stepped aside voluntarily after wielding almost unlimited power for only twenty-four hours? If you assume that number is zero, you are now batting a thousand in the guessing-game sweepstakes.

As to anomalies such as blackwhite and doublespeak, they are far more than mere weapons in Trump's despicable arsenal of distortion and deception; they are his heart and soul. Or as the French would say, his raison d'etre. As someone once said of Trump: "You can always tell when he's lying; that's whenever his lips are moving."

When Trump declares without a shred of proof that "32,000 illegal Haitian immigrants" in Springfield, Ohio (the actual number is more like 15,000, most of whom are there legally) are "kidnapping pet dogs and cats and eating them," we are not only expected to BELIEVE that it's true, we should also KNOW that it's true. Why? Because Big Brother—pardon, Donald Trump—says it is.

Sadly, about forty percent (or more) otherwise level-headed and sensible Americans will buy into Trump's shocking and baseless lie, as well as its gruesome corollary—that those Haitians are also eating geese taken from local parks.

Too over the top, you say? No one could possibly believe something that bizarre? Think again, amigo. Big Brother's con is so practiced and smooth and his presence so assured and convincing that even someone as skeptical and savvy as you may be persuaded that what he is saying, no matter how irrational or preposterous, must be true. If that should happen, and you too find yourself ensnared by Big Brother's distorted truth, please let me offer you a glass of this delicious Kool-Aid.

October 3, 2024

The scene is a storefront somewhere in south Florida. A door opens, then closes.

"Hello. Is anyone here? Are you open for business?"

"Yes indeed, we are open, sir. Good afternoon, and welcome to the Donald J Trump Grift Shoppe, Trinket Emporium and Snake Oil Salon."

"Thank you. This is my first visit here, and I must say this is quite an impressive showroom. I've never seen a gold-plated cash register before. You must be doing pretty good business..."

"Yes, I must agree that we are. Of course, this is the height of grifting season, shortly before a presidential election. The perfect time to grift your friends, relatives, even perfect strangers...As a matter of fact, last week we had to build a new wing to accommodate our growing inventory."

"Yes, I can believe that. It looks like you have baubles for sale in every corner of the room..."

"And it's not only what you see here. We have even more dreck in the back room, under the counters, in the basement, the washrooms, and for special customers, the trunk of my car..."

"And you own all of this?"

"Well, technically speaking—and for income tax purposes—I'm only the manager. Salaried. Paid by the hour. None of the profits go to me. None. I'm simply a humble middle-man..."

"I see. But you do look quite familiar. Aren't you...?"

"No, I'm not...but I'm often mistaken for the owner. I think it may be the orange makeup. We both wear it. The boss is actually playing golf this afternoon. Or he may be explaining the intricacies of tariffs to people who aren't as clever as he is...But please, look around...check things out...and let me know if you see anything that interests you..."

"Well, I really like that solid gold, diamond-studded watch...but it does seem a bit pricey at $100,000..."

"That's because it's by far the best watch money can buy: 122 diamonds, 18-karat gold...and crafted by the finest Swiss watch-makers who now live in China. A part of the Official Trump Watch Collection...and only 147 of them have been made. But if you feel it's out of reach, price-wise, we do have alternatives...for example, our 'Fight Fight Fight' watch is available for the bargain-basement price of only $499..."

"That's good to know, but I think I'll keep on looking."

"Yes, you go right ahead. Take your time; there's no hurry. We have until November 5..."

"These coins; it says they're a limited edition..."

"Yes, they are, and they are also a true symbol of American greatness, minted right here in the States—and designed by the owner himself with his face prominently displayed. Silver-plated too, and a bargain at only $100 per coin..."

"Wow! I don't see how you do it..."

"Well, just between us, the secret to keeping prices so low is not eliminating the middle-man; it's stiffing the middle-man...once we have the goods in hand, the only recourse he has is to sue us—and how many people are going to do that? In my experience, very few..."

"But isn't that...?"

"Illegal? Believe me—and the Supreme Court will back me on this—illegal is in the eye of the beholder...we have been given complete sales immunity..."

"I was going to say 'unethical...'"

"Sorry, that's a word I'm not familiar with. I'll have to look it up...While I do, please keep shopping; we must have something here to lighten your wallet or tighten your credit..."

"What are these cards about?"

"Oh, those are our exclusive digital trading cards, also known as NFTs, or non-fungible tokens. You've not heard of them? Actually, this is Series 4, and there are 50 of them, back by popular demand. They show the owner, Mr Trump, dancing, as an astronaut, a cowboy, a super-hero—even holding some Bitcoins. And if you buy 15 or more for only $99 apiece, you'll receive a physical card containing a piece of the suit I wore—I mean, he wore—while crushing Joe Biden during their presidential debate in June. We call them our Trump cards."

"And what about the suit you—I mean, he—wore when debating Kamala Harris?"

"That one went straight to the cleaners and hasn't come back yet. They say they're still trying to remove some of the grime and rubbish..."

"I can understand that...and speaking of clothing, I see you also have sneakers for sale..."

"Yes. We have the gold-plated sneakers for only $499 a pair—our special 'Never Surrender' high-tops—or the 'Fight Fight Fight' sneakers for just $299. And don't overlook our 'assassination attempt' cologne and perfume, your rallying cry scent in a bottle. The cologne features the boss's image with raised fist; the perfume is for women who embody strength, power and victory, like Mr Trump himself. Both are on sale for only $129 a bottle."

"Yes, that certainly smells like Trump to me..."

"That's true. But if you'd like something even more personal, we have our special 'God Bless the USA' Bible, which includes copies of the Constitution, the Bill of Rights, the Declaration of Independence and Pledge of Allegiance. All your favorite reading material in one convenient place. And all that for only $59.99. Or you can get a copy signed by the owner for a measly $1,000."

"Well, I do like to read..."

"Then you'll probably love Mr Trump's new picture book, which 'takes you behind the scenes' of the two attempts on his life. The cover alone is a keepsake with a picture of the boss raising his fist in defiance after the attack in Pennsylvania that left him seriously wounded...his ear may never be the same...It can be yours for only only $99, or you can get an autographed copy for $499..."

"Sounds tempting. But what's that you said about Bitcoin? I'm not really familiar with that..."

"Oh, that's the boss's newest venture. He plans to make America the Bitcoin capital of the world. No more currency, only Bitcoin in every transaction. He's even started a business, World Liberty Financial, to deal only in Bitcoin. Believe me, it's the wave of the future, and you could get in on the ground floor—for a price, that is."

"Well. I'll give it some serious thought. But my question is, how does the owner find the time to do all of this? Isn't he running for...?"

"Oh, that. Yes, he is running for president, but that's only a side hustle. The real money is in merchandising, as you can see here in the Emporium. Being president simply reminds his brain-dead followers that he's successful, wealthy, a man who never loses..."

"But he lost in 2020..."

"That remains a matter of opinion. The boss says he won but the election was rigged, stolen by the Dems who were more clever than he expected. It'll be different this time..."

"How so?"

For one thing, he has more people in place to make sure the election is run fair and square..."

"You mean that it goes his way..."

"You could say that. What we say is, if the boss gets the most electoral votes, the election was fair..."

"And if not?"

"Friend, you don't even want to go there. I'll say only that things may become a bit messy..."

"As on January 6?"

"If I have my way—I mean, if the boss has his—it'll make January 6 look like an elegant tea party..."

"Which is what most Republicans say the first January 6 was."

"And they were right. A minor scuffle, but no one got hurt...I saw the whole thing..."

"You did?"

"Well, the boss lets me watch his TV if I keep it tuned to the Fox News channel...And speaking of watching, have you seen enough here?"

"I'd say more than enough. And I don't think I'll be buying anything, at least not today..."

"Fine; that's your loss, not ours. You can pay the $100 browser's fee on your way out. Oh, and one last thing before you go...can we count on your vote in November?"

October 14, 2024

PROJECTION. In psychological terms, projection is "the attribution of one's own ideas, feelings, attitudes or traits to other people or objects, especially the externalization of blame, guilt or responsibility as a defense mechanism against anxiety."

Not only is former president Donald Trump one of the slickest and most ingenious con men who ever lived, he is also a master of projection, of ascribing his own faults and weaknesses of character to others. And so when Trump talks about "crooked Joe" Biden, says the president has become "mentally disabled," notes that vice president Kamala Harris was "born mentally disabled" and is "dumb," or that special counsel Jack Smith is "deranged," he may as well be looking in a mirror, as he has taken his own deficiencies and imposed them on others, specifically those who definitely are his betters and thus represent a clear and present danger to his plans and ambitions.

When Trump alleges that Harris is diverting sorely needed FEMA emergency funds from hard-hit areas of the country to the southern border (as if she could actually do that), that is exactly what he did in 2019; and when he says that "illegal" Haitian immigrants in Springfield, Ohio, are "eating dogs and cats," one can't help but wonder, when he sits down to dinner at his Mar-a-Lago enclave, how much of the meat that is being served began its journey to the table as canine or feline.

When Trump isn't projecting, he keeps on lying, presumably unaware of or uncaring about the impact of his falsehoods on those who hear them. Anyone or anything is fair game, from Harris and running mate Tim Walz to hurricane disasters in Florida and elsewhere. Of course, he oversaw "the greatest economy ever" while he was president, another outright lie that is easily fact-checked and debunked. And he led a marvelous and effective government response to the Covid-19 pandemic (Clorox, anyone?). The problem is, most of those in his base readily buy whatever Trump is selling—and he is selling everything at his web site that isn't nailed down—which is why the 2024 presidential race appears to be much closer than it should.

I pride myself on being independent when it comes to voting—I am neither Republican nor Democrat, as I consider party affiliation the kiss of death—but in appraising the candidates as objectively as I can, I find it hard to understand how anyone could cast a vote—for dog catcher, let alone president!—for someone who was impeached twice, has been convicted of sexual assault and thirty-four counts of business fraud, and led an attempt to overthrow the results of the 2020 presidential election by urging a bloodthirsty mob of his supporters to storm the US Capitol on January 6, 2021, to try and halt the certification of millions of legally cast votes and keep him in office.

The wonder to me is why the media keep telling us that the race to the White House is so damn close. Can't the Democrats simply wave a magic wand and make Trump disappear? After all, according to some Republicans, they already control the weather, directing hurricanes to states' red areas in which absolutely NO Democrats live. That is why, when weather fatalities are tallied, every last one of the deceased has been a registered Republican who planned to vote for Trump. You don't believe me? Well, all I can say in my defense is, that is no more ridiculous than claiming that a political party can somehow control the weather and use that power to punish its "enemies." Trump made light of it last week in his usual misleading way, saying, "Are they (the Democrats) really that bad? I don't think so. But they could be..." thus planting another seed of doubt in the minds of people who should know better. He could have said, "Look, no one can control the weather; that's impossible," and moved on—but that's not how Trump operates. There always has to be some element of suspicion, some vague hint that what he says, no matter how outlandish, could be true.

How effective has Trump's strategy of deception been? Well, his running mate, JD Vance, refused at least three times in one interview last week (as he did in his debate with Governor Tim Walz) to answer a simple yes-or-no question: "Did Donald Trump lose the 2020 election?" Vance was, as we used to say, "in a pickle," as an honest answer would be tantamount to admitting that what Donald Trump has been claiming for the last three-plus years is an outright lie (as most sane people already know).

Why does Trump continue to lie and mislead? Because he can't help doing it; that's who he is. The more relevant question should be, how does he keep getting away with it? Last week—speaking in Detroit!—he said that if Harris were elected, the whole country "would be like Detroit. We'd have a real mess on our hands."

How in the world could anyone in Detroit vote for Trump after hearing that? But many of its residents no doubt will, which is a testament to Trump's singular ability to hypnotize listeners into not believing what they are hearing—or seeing. Trump went on last week to revile the city of Aurora, Colorado, saying it is a breeding ground for Venezuelan gangs, a claim the city's mayor quickly debunked.

Trump simply voices whatever thoughts enter his head, no matter how absurd or divorced from reality. The most horrific possible result of his fabrications and delusions is that they may help make him the country's forty-seventh (and possibly last) democratically elected president.

October 21, 2024

Millions of Americans don't care deeply whether those who govern them are honest and capable; they would much rather be entertained.

I've been saying this for at least the past eight years, ever since business buffoon, full-blown narcissist and serial liar Donald Trump was improbably elected president.

Needless to say, no one knows this better than the former president and TV hack who last week played the entertainment card by turning the last thirty-nine minutes of what was billed as a town hall meeting in battleground Pennsylvania into his personal dance party—and no one there batted an eye. Did anyone say, "What's going on with this guy? He's supposed to be running for president. Has he lost his marbles?" No one that I know of—at least no one who identifies as a MAGA Republican. Trump stood onstage for more than half an hour, swaying silently to the music, sometimes clapping his hands (as he did with The Village People's pro-gay anthem, YMCA), while his audience simply looked on. In disbelief? Well, there was a bit of that—some members of the audience voted with their feet—but most of them simply stood in place, many with cameras aimed toward the stage, taking videos of Trump's Fred Astaire-like moves.

Unhinged? Judge for yourself. Trump clearly was in no mood to answer questions. If Kamala Harris tried that, she would be baked, fried and roasted by the media. Trump? Just another typical day on the campaign trail.

When he isn't lying or misleading, Trump is busy selling—at his web site, literally everything that isn't nailed down. Watches, sneakers, hats, shirts, sweaters, posters, flags, postcards, mug shots, golf balls, cards (gold or platinum), signed photos or footballs, pins, yard signs, stickers, an assortment of tacky Christmas ornaments and gifts—you name it, the man who wants to be your president has it for sale. And we mustn't forget the official Trump "God Bless America" Bible (made in China); it can be yours for less than $60 ($59.99). Guaranteed to be in perfect condition, as it has never been opened, let alone read.

Americans also want to feel they are part of something sizable and significant. Trump knows that too, which is why he offers sweepstakes (forty-one as of the end of September) wherein the lucky "winner" (there is no evidence that anyone has yet cleared that bar) can meet Trump, dine with him at Mar-a-Lago, his Bedminster golf club or various other locales, or claim one of a large number of prizes from signed MAGA hats to you-name-it. Failing that, devotees could become members of one of Trump's forty-seven advisory councils or clubs, meaning (theoretically) that they could actually have a voice and thus some impact on the former president's campaign for office, or (in practice) not a damn thing.

Ironically, the U.S. isn't the only country to elect a former TV personality as president. In 2019, Ukraine did likewise, choosing a man who had actually played the role of president on a TV series. But unlike the U.S., which elected Donald Trump—who is by any measure the laziest, most avaricious and least competent president in American history—Ukraine hit the jackpot by electing Volodomyr Zelensky, a man whose remarkable courage and determination in the face of Russia's unprovoked aggression helped save the country from a swift collapse and has caused no end of consternation for Russia's dictatorial strongman, Vladimir Putin.

On this side of the pond, Trump desperately wants his "close buddy," Putin, to win that war, which is one more reason why Americans must turn out in record numbers in November to elect Kamala Harris president —as if they didn't have enough reasons already.

October 29, 2024

With only one week to go before election day 2024, I am baffled as to why almost no one has chosen to see or acknowledge the elephant in the room. By definition, said elephant is a figure of speech that denotes "an important topic, question or controversial issue that is obvious or that everyone knows about but no one mentions or wants to discuss" for various reasons—personal, social, political and so on—as "it can be embarrassing, controversial, inflammatory or even dangerous."

The elephant in this particular room is former president Donald Trump's wide-ranging criminal record, which everyone can see but only handful of observers have had the courage or insight to mention. Besides being impeached twice while holding the office of president, Trump has been tried and convicted of sexual assault and defamation by writer E Jean Carroll, found guilty on thirty-four counts of business fraud in connection with hush money payments made in 2015 to porn star Stormy Daniels, and is awaiting trial in the District of Columbia and Georgia on charges that he conspired to overturn the 2020 election results by sending an armed mob of supporters to storm the US Capitol on January 6, 2021. And were it not for the malfeasance of a friendly Trump-appointed judge in Florida, he would also be liable for the unlawful possession of classified documents he kept after leaving office (and still may be, on appeal).

And yet one hears almost no reference to these transgressions in the media or elsewhere. If I were advising the Harris/Walz campaign, I would have them hammering that message into the ears and hearts of prospective voters on a daily basis. Why they have chosen not to is, to me, a puzzle more perplexing than any crossword posted each day in The New York Times. Harris should be emphasizing the fact that one glaring difference between her and the former president is that there are no convictions on her record aside from those she won as a prosecuting attorney in Los Angeles.

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