The Trump Files

"Good evening, everyone, and welcome to the first presidential debate of 2024. I am your host and moderator, Dr Irving Rohrschach, director of CogAssess Ltd. Onstage with me are the nominees: representing the Republican party, former president Donald J Trump—he's the one wearing the ankle monitor—and representing the Democratic party, incumbent president Joseph R Biden. And so without further ado, let's begin the debate. Our first question goes to you, Mr Trump. When you took the presidential oath of office, you swore to preserve, protect and defend what?"

"The Trump Organization, of course."

"Same question to you, Mr Biden,"

"Well, I swore to preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the US...but I can certainly understand Mr Trump's position..."

"All right, then; let us ask you this: the first ten Amendments to the Constitution are known collectively as what?"

"As the Bill of Rights."

"Fine. Now back to you, Mr Trump. Please name for us any six animals of your choosing."

"Okay. Cat, dog, horse, lion, zebra, monkey."

"Thank you. Mr Biden, here is your third question: you buy $3.05 worth of groceries and give the clerk a $5 bill. How much change do you receive?"

"Let's see...$3.05 from $5. That would be $1.95 change."

"Very good, sir. Now back to you, Mr Trump. How many quarters are there in $8.75?"

"Look, I don't deal with financials; I let my accountants handle that. I simply run the business, or the country...I pour the concrete, so to speak. But I'll take a shot anyway...I'd say, roughly...33?"

"Extremely close for a construction worker, Mr Trump. Your turn, Mr Biden. Johnny has five apples and gives two to his friend Billy. How many apples does Johnny have left?"

"Excuse me...excuse me..."

"You wish to make a comment, Mr Trump?"

"Yes. That's a trick question, Mr moderator. No one in his right mind GIVES apples away!..."

"The question is merely hypothetical, Mr Trump..."

"I don't care if he's frozen...or whatever the hell that means. What I'm saying is, Johnny doesn't just GIVE apples away; he SELLS the two apples to his friend Billy for fifty cents each...He then has three apples left, which are worth $10 apiece for loan or investment purposes, or twenty-five cents for tax purposes..."

"Mr Biden?"

"Well, Mr Trump has answered the question correctly; Johnny clearly has three apples left."

"All right, then. Let's give you another question, Mr Biden. Please spell the word 'insurrection' backward."

"Insurrection. Let's see...n...o...i...t...c...e...r...r...u...s...n...i. Insurrection."

"Very good, Mr Biden..."

"He had to have help with that..."

"What did you say, Mr Trump?"

"He had to have help. No one can manage an insurrection by himself, backward or forward; believe me, I should know..."

"Are you implying that Mr Biden was cheating?...that his answer was somehow 'rigged...'?

"Yes. I just don't know...yet...how he did it...but my lawyers and I will get to the bottom of it..."

"There's no need for that, Mr Trump. This is only a debate, not an election..."

"Okay. But I still think he cheated...and if he can 'rig' that answer, why not an election too..."

"We may never know, Mr Trump. But in any case, the next question is yours. Name the five basic food groups."

"Let's see...Big Macs, fries, ketchup, salt, and...and...Diet Coke!"

"That's close enough, Mr. Trump. And now it's your turn again, Mr Biden. This question also deals with food. Please name six items normally used in a kitchen."

"Well, there's knives, forks and spoons, of course. And pots and pans. That leaves one. How about...a microwave?"

"That will do nicely, Mr Biden. Now, Mr Trump, remember the list of six animals you gave us?"

"Yes, I do."

"Fine. Would you please repeat that list for us."

"This is almost too easy. Cat, dog, horse...and, uh, let's see...dolphin...kangaroo...and unicorn! Hah! Nailed it!"

"That is positively erroneous, Mr Trump. You must surely have done this before...Now here's a question for you, Mr Biden. As president, you are entrusted with top secret, highly classified documents. On leaving office, what do you do with them?"

"Well, aside from those I hide in the bathroom (audience chuckles), I return them to the National Archives. of course."

"And you, Mr Trump?"

"Same as with Johnny's apples. As those documents are rightfully mine, I sell some of them to 'friends' and keep the rest as an 'investment.'"

"An illicit and unsurprising answer, Mr Trump."

"Thank you."

"And now back to you, Mr. Biden. Your next question: what is the capital city of South Carolina?"

"That would be Columbia."

"Correct. And Mr Trump, what is the capital city of Iowa?"

"Sioux Falls."

"An honest mistake, sir. Mr Biden. A group of wolves is called a pack. What is a group of fish called?"

"That would be a school."

"Good. Now to your question, Mr Trump. A person who spends money in an extravagant, irresponsible way is a...?"

"I want to say a Trump or a Bankman-Freid, but that would be too easy. You're looking for something else, aren't you?"

"Yes, I am."

"Then I'll say a Kushner."

"Not the answer I had in mind, but close enough. Now, Mr Biden, puppy is to dog as kitten is to...?"

"Cat, I suppose."

"You suppose correctly. I can see this is going to be a tight election. Mr Trump, would you please spell the word 'defendant.'"

"Another easy one. I've seen that word more in the past year than any other word you can name. D-e-f-e-n-d-e-n-t. Defendant."

"Oh, so very close, Mr Trump. And without even using spell-check. Now, Mr Biden, would you please spell the word 'inauguration.'"

"I-n-a-u-g-u-r-a-t-i-o-n. Inauguration."

"Inauguration. He may spell it right but he'll never see one..."

"And why is that, Mr Trump?"

"Just sayin...'"

"And why are you 'just sayin...'?"

"No special reason. But everyone can see I'm ahead in every poll..."

"Yes, and you were ahead in most polls four years ago and still you lost..."

"I didn't LOSE that election! It was STOLEN from me!"

"With all due respect, Mr Trump, you've been saying that for almost four years now and have yet to show any proof..."

"Proof? I have lotsa proof! Trouble is, those crooked judges won't listen to me or my lawyers..."

"I presume you mean the sixty 'crooked judges'—some appointed by you—who have thrown every one of your cases out of court?"

"Yes...crooked AND corrupt. Believe me, I won't make that mistake again..."

"Speaking of mistakes, Mr Trump, let's see if you can avoid one on your last question. A cruise ship has 240 seats. On its latest cruise, 20 percent of the seats are empty. How many seats were occupied?"

"Geez...what does that have to do with being president? I came here to discuss the issues: eliminating the depraved Deep State, pardoning my friends, destroying my enemies, building an even bigger wall, nullifying my impeachments, lowering taxes for the filthy-rich, maybe starting a war or two...you know, the policies that will help make America great again..."

"Nothing personal, Mr Trump. We're only trying to determine your fitness for office. And one last question for you, Mr Biden. A woman being interviewed for a job is asked if she would be willing to work six hours a day, six days a week. If she agrees, how many hours a week would she be working?"

"I'd say thirty-six."

That is correct. And now I see the time has come for your final statements. Again, we will start with you, Mr Biden."

"Thank you. Well, I haven't really much to say, as my record speaks for itself. In less than four years, our administration has done more to help average Americans than any other since FDR, who served more than three terms in office. Wages are up, as is job growth, while inflation and unemployment are down. Bidenomics is working well, and the economy is humming along in high gear, benefiting everyone—especially those who need our help the most. Please go to the polls in November and help us finish the job. God bless America."

"Mr Trump?"

"When—not if—I am re-elected, my only job will be to make America great again. Look at what we did the first time...wait; let me rephrase that. Trust me (how I love that phrase), we did a lot to make our country great, and could have done much more if we weren't constantly being hounded by baseless witch hunts and interrupted by impeachments, indictments and jury trials by crooked, incompetent, Trump-hating hacks whose aim was to convict an innocent man who only wanted to incite—I mean, excite—his base and hold onto a few documents that were rightfully his in the first place. We did nothing wrong; in fact, we did everything right. And we're ready to do it all over again, only this time even righter. I promise you, you've never seen an America like the one you'll see under a second Trump administration. You'll be so tired of winning...sorry, I used that one before...but it's true; my family and I can't get enough of winning. We simply ignore the imbecilic court decisions that took away our business and keep on fighting—for you, the patriots, that is. Together, we can make America great again—even if it kills you. God bless the Trump mob—pardon, Trump organization."

"Thank you, gentlemen. We will return for the second presidential debate six weeks from now. This is Dr Irving Rohrschach saying goodnight, and thanking you for listening."

November 9, 2023

How do I see the 2024 presidential election? I thought you'd never ask. Here is my take:

Once the bullshit has been sifted and shoveled aside, two undeniable truths remain.

Joe Biden is a far better president than Donald Trump ever was or ever could be.

Donald Trump is a far better salesman than Joe Biden ever was or ever could be.

That is the only reason the race appears to be so close.

What few people seem willing or able to acknowledge with any clarity is the elephant in the room. And it is a huge one.

Aside from being one of the worst presidents—arguably THE worst—in US history, Donald Trump tried to overturn a lawful election, held onto sensitive and highly classified government documents after leaving office, was impeached not once but twice, is facing civil and criminal indictments and trials in four jurisdictions, and has been charged with no less than ninety-one felonies.

Joe Biden, meanwhile, has presided over a scandal-free administration while passing more broad and meaningful legislation than any president since Franklin D Roosevelt.

The difference is this:

Trump has taken his transgressions, failures, missteps and falsehoods and made them his ally. He has never done anything wrong, as he tells his partisans on a daily basis; anything different is "fake news," and any attempts to censure his conduct are no more than partisan "witch hunts." Trump's message is that he is not being prosecuted for unlawful behavior, he is being persecuted by a biased and unprincipled system that is out to "get" him.

Inciting an insurrection designed to overthrow the results of an election? Never happened. Nor did his alleged misappropriation of government documents, as they were his to keep in the first place. Those impeachments? Clearly political vengeance by envious Democrats. You see? Every misdeed of which he stands accused can be readily explained, right down to Trump University. According to Trump, no president was ever so cruelly mistreated or maligned. He has done nothing wrong, and surely deserves a chance to do nothing wrong again.

Peerless salesman? Trump gives new meaning to the phrase.

Joe Biden, on the other hand, wears his many remarkable accomplishments like an albatross. Little wonder that many Americans actually believe that ne'er-do-well Trump did more for them than Biden has. The former president feeds them a steady diet of such easily debunked lies. But they continue to buy them (along with shabby trinkets from his online Trump store). Why? Because Trump is the far smoother and more accomplished salesman. True, Biden can't help it if he mumbles in a monotone and talks like a politician. That's what he is. Trump talks like a huckster, because that's what he is. Always has been, always will be.

And even though he is three years older than Trump, Biden is playing with an almost-full deck, whereas Trump has trouble splicing together two coherent sentences without using a Teleprompter. Again, however, the common perception is that Biden is losing his grip, while Trump is as mentally sharp as a teen-ager. Why? The answer to that is part salesmanship, part cult leader. No matter what Trump says—however bizarre or incoherent—his brainwashed followers WANT to believe him, and so they do. "Yes, we'll have another dose of that snake oil, please; the first one was so light and refreshing." And throw in some Clorox too.

Salesmanship aside, Trump has raised victimhood to a whole new level. And that is part of his appeal to people who believe the government has failed them, that they need a "savior" like Trump to restore their faith in a broken system. If Trump can be so unjustly mistreated, they reason, their own freedom and security must surely be in jeopardy. Thus, a vote for Trump is a vote to "make America great again" (while protecting white privilege). And so the slickest con game ever keeps moving onward. It helps, of course, that almost no one in Trump's own party has the balls to blow the whistle on his sleight of hand and point out that the emperor has no clothes.

So what is the outcome? Who will win the race in '24? Like most other observers, I have absolutely no idea, at least not yet. There are simply too many variables to hazard even a guess when we are this far removed from the actual election day next November.

On the one hand, I like to think that Americans are smart enough not to elect Trump twice; on the other, they were dumb enough to elect him once. So that's a toss-up. If it were a straight-up vote, I don't believe that Trump would stand a chance of winning—but that's not the case. Truth is, the people don't really decide our presidential elections; the Electoral College does. And therein, to paraphrase Shakespeare, lies the rub. Both Biden and Trump can count on a certain number of states voting their way owing to party affiliation. That means the election, as always, will be decided in a handful of so-called "battleground" states, some six in all according to conventional wisdom.

Right now, most polls are saying that Trump is leading Biden in five of those six states, and in at least one by an eye-popping ten-point margin. Pay no attention. The only poll that counts is the one completed on election day and the few days thereafter. And even that one may not count if it doesn't go Trump's way.

You don't seriously believe Trump would accept another loss, do you? A Biden victory would betoken no less than 2020, Version II. Somehow, Trump would reason, Biden and the Democrats managed to "rig" another election, even though he and his Republican allies purged as many Democratic voters as they could and conspired to rewrite the vote count in his favor. Trump can never allow himself to believe he lost any contest fairly; his opponent must have cheated, as he surely would have done had the shoe been on the other foot.

Returning to the aforementioned elephant, a Trump conviction in any of his pending criminal trials could make it a whole new ball game. At least that's what voters seem to be saying. Indictments? No big deal. Overwhelming evidence against him? He's still innocent until proven guilty. But if a jury does prove him guilty? Well, some say, we'd have to change our vote from "R" to "D." If you're thinking that doesn't make much sense, welcome aboard. But it does speak to Trump's unrivaled talents as a con man. His brain-dead followers can't be persuaded he is guilty of anything until a jury of his peers says so. And even then, most of them will still have their doubts and vote to re-elect him. When it comes to clouding minds, Trump is in a rarefied atmosphere equaled only by Lamont Cranston, known within the dwindling ranks of the elderly as radio's master hypnotist, "The Shadow."

But speaking of a new ball game, there is now another hitch in the equation. Robert F Kennedy Jr, running as an independent, appears to be gaining traction, especially among younger voters who know the Kennedy name from their history books but are no doubt unaware of Jr's bizarre stance on a number of key issues. RFK Jr could play spoiler in some hotly contested states. The question is, who might benefit from his uptrend. And the answer is, no one seems to know. And so there is that to consider along with the sundry other permutations already noted.

My guess—and it may be more wish than guess—is that the women's vote could be decisive. I can't understand how any woman could vote for Trump, given that he would promptly strip her of the right to make her own health-care decisions and basically consign her to the kitchen (and bedroom) full-time—but many of them will. If, however, large numbers of women choose on election day to stand up for their rights and vote accordingly, that could tip the election in Biden's favor.

So that is my take on the 2024 presidential election, which could—and may—change first thing tomorrow. Aren't you glad you asked?

November 13, 2023

Logic 101:

One thing I will never understand—aside from the lyrics to "Bye Bye Blackbird" and "God Bless the Child"—is how anyone who is opposed to abortion could also be opposed to contraception.

Those who are "pro-life" will do anything in their power to stop a woman from having an abortion, passing draconian laws whenever and wherever they can that come as close as possible to controlling every aspect of a woman's choice to end a pregnancy, even threatening fines or prison for anyone who has an abortion or assists that effort in any way. Clearly, they wish to put an end not only to abortion but even to the thought of ever having one. There is, however, another way to limit pregnancies and abortions:

Contraception.

Nowadays, women have many ways to avoid pregnancy. As the ubiquitous TV ads for various medications make perfectly clear, "We have a pill for that"—pills that in this case are quite effective, taken before or even after sexual relations, in making sure a woman does not become pregnant. And if pills aren't readily available, there are other ways—for both men and women—to greatly limit the chances of a pregnancy.

Logically, it would seem that those who oppose abortion would be among the most ardent champions of contraception, as that is what it does—it prevents pregnancy, and therefore abortion as well. Seems like a win-win situation.

Trouble is, many of those who are outspoken in their opposition to abortion are also among the most fervent opponents of contraception. Although they must have their reasons, to me it makes no logical sense. If you are opposed to abortion, which only happens as a result of pregnancy, why would you also be opposed to anything that can prevent a pregnancy? Could it be that if there were no abortions—well, certainly far fewer—you would have no "cause" to uphold? Whatever the reason, I must be too dense to understand it. It could be based on one's religious beliefs, in which case there is no sense arguing the point, as logic clearly has nothing to do with that.

When it comes to abortion and contraception, former president Donald ("I got this!") Trump is all over the map. Should a woman who has an abortion be punished? "Yes...I mean, no. Those who help her should be punished...except maybe they shouldn't. The woman is the victim—or maybe she isn't." How about a federal abortion ban? "I really don't care...but I'm the one who overturned Roe v Wade!" The problem is, "Democrats are killing babies at nine months, killing babies after birth." Any proof of that, sir? "Not really; but I heard they are." Then you must be happy about governor Ron DeSantis' six-week abortion ban in FL. "A terrible thing—a terrible mistake."

So what IS your position on abortion? "Like Ronald Reagan, I am pro-life with some exceptions. Pay no attention to my position in 1999, which was 'pro-choice in every respect.' I wasn't running for president then. If you really want to know where I stand on abortion, ask me tomorrow."

Previews of Coming Attractions?

If Trump (God forbid) is re-elected in 2024, he has a long list of things he wants to do, including demolishing the federal judiciary or at least bending it to his will. President Biden is doing his best to avert that catastrophe, having appointed (so far) one hundred-fifty federal judges, one hundred of whom are women (more than any other president). Those women include Ketanji Brown Jackson, the first black woman ever appointed to the serve on the US Supreme Court.

Of those hundred women confirmed to date, two-thirds are women of color—including the first Muslim, Navajo and openly lesbian federal judges. Although leading Trump by a wide margin in the diversity of his appointments, Biden still trails slightly in terms of numbers. During his thirty-four months in office, Biden has appointed one Supreme Court justice, thirty-six circuit court judges and one hundred-thirteen district court judges. By comparison, by this time in his administration, Trump had confirmed two Supreme Court justices, forty-three circuit court judges and one hundred-twelve district court judges.

Biden's appointment of one hundred women to the bench is nearly double the number endorsed by Trump.

And last (but not least), some thoughts for the day (courtesy of WordSmith):

"In science it often happens that scientists say, 'You know, that's a really good argument; my position is mistaken,' and then they would actually change their minds and you'd never hear that old view from them again. They really do it. It doesn't happen as often as it should, because scientists are human and change is sometimes painful. But it happens every day. I cannot recall the last time something like that happened in politics or religion." —Carl Sagan, astronomer and writer.

"It is criminal to steal a purse, daring to steal a fortune, a mark of greatness to steal a crown. The blame diminishes as the guilt increases." —Johan Christoph Friedrich von Schiller, poet and dramatist.

November 20, 2023

"Order!... Order!... The senate will come to order... Ladies and gentlemen, please take your seats. Thank you. I hereby declare that today's session of the senate is in order. And now...

"LET'S GET READY TO R-U-M-B-L-E!!!!!!!"

"Point of order, Mr Buffer...I mean, Mr chairman."

"The chair recognizes the gentleman from Oklahoma."

"Mr chairman, we haven't chosen our weapons..."

"Thank you, Mr Mullin. In keeping with the senate's retreat to the nineteenth century, all differences of opinion shall hereafter be settled with bare knuckles. I trust that suits the gentleman from Oklahoma..."

"It does, Mr chairman. But I would like to offer an amendment to authorize the use of biting when circumstances permit..."

"Thank you, Mr Mullin. Do I hear any challenges? There being none, the amendment is approved without objection."

"Elbows too, Mr chairman?"

"No, Mr Mullin; elbows may be used only by members of the House..."

"Mr chairman..."

"The chair recognizes the gentlewoman from Arizona."

"Thank you, Mr chairman. Will former president Trump be allowed to take part in future senate altercations?"

"Mr Trump was invited to lend his knuckles to all debates but had to decline because of continuing problems with bone spurs. Yes...the chair recognizes the gentleman from Vermont..."

"Mr chairman, while I am not opposed in principle to the use of bare knuckles, I don't believe that when the people of Oklahoma sent Mr Mullin to Washington to 'fight' for them that this is what they had in mind..."

"Objection!"

"Mr Mullin?"

"This is precisely the kind of wishy-washy, namby-pamby non-response we would expect to hear from our cowardly opponents on the other side of the aisle."

"Mr Sanders?"

"Thank you, Mr chairman. I would like to ask the gentleman from Oklahoma if he would care to step outside and repeat that..."

"Mr Mullin?"

"Now we're getting somewhere. Challenge accepted, Mr Sanders! Who says the senate is broken and unable to govern? Side bet, Mr Sanders. You win, I vote for aid to Israel and Ukraine. You lose, you endorse Donald Trump for president..."

"Agreed. And to make it even more interesting, let's say best two of three..."

"You're on!"

"Sit down, Mr Mullin."

"Sir?"

"I said, sit down. We have to remove your wedding ring first. You too, Mr Sanders..."

"Of course, sir. I simply forgot. We wouldn't want to bloody Mr Sanders' face any more than necessary..."

"Bloody whose face? We'lI see whose face is bloodied! I can hardly wait to get started. In the immortal words of the lion in The Wizard of Oz, 'put 'em up...put 'em up!'"

Meanwhile, somewhere else in the nether regions of DC...

FBI director Christopher Wray, a life-long Republican, is being questioned by members of the House homeland security committee about a QAnon-fueled conspiracy theory that far-right Republican half-wits believe should stand every account of the January 6 assault on the US Capitol on its ear.

Rep Clay Higgins (R-Louisiana): "Mr Wray, are you familiar with the term 'Ghost Bus'?"

"No, I can't say I've heard that term before."

"Well, I'd think you must have. It's been all over Twitter...I mean, X..."

"I don't spend much time on X...I mean, Twitter...or do I mean X?"

"Surely, Mr Wray, you must have seen the movie about it...Ghost Bussers...It was a big hit!...Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd..."

"No, I must have missed that one..."

"Well then, Mr Wray, I'd like you to look closely at this picture. What do you see?"

"It looks like a garage with a couple of buses parked there."

"Yes, and would you say those buses have been painted over?"

"They may have been. It's really hard to get a clear view..."

"So you do agree that they may have been painted over! And do you know, that's exactly what they do to Ghost Buses before they are used for secret and nefarious purposes?"

"If you say so...It's hard to comment on things I know nothing about..."

"So you're denying these are Ghost Buses were parked there on January 6 before being used to carry disguised FBI agents to the Capitol where they posed as Trump supporters and egged on the mob that stormed the building..."

"Frankly, Mr Higgins, I can't see much of anything there. But if you are asking whether the violence at the Capitol on January 6 was part of some operation orchestrated by FBI sources and/or agents, the answer is emphatically no."

"That's not what I was askin,' Mr Wray. For the record, let me ask you this: do you know who was driving one of them buses?"

"I couldn't possibly know that..."

"Well, supposin' I was to tell you it was none other than Hunter Biden!"

"With all due respect, sir, there is no way I could know who was driving which bus..."

"So what you're sayin,' Mr Wray, is you can't DENY that Hunter Biden was drivin' one of them buses..."

"Of course I can't deny that! I simply don't know...It could have been Hunter Biden or any..."

"Your answer is duly noted, Mr. Wray."

"But I can say this: Hunter Biden is not and never has been an FBI employee..."

"And yet here we have these Ghost Buses, Mr Wray, which weren't parked there on January 6—you'll have to take my word about the date—for no reason. How do you explain that? And that is only the tip if the iceberg, sir. We also have evidence of Ghost Limos, Ghost Taxis, Ghost Ubers, Ghost Roller Boards, Ghost Scooters, Ghost Rickshaws, Ghost Paper Planes, Ghost Water Skis...the list goes on...and when coupled with your incriminating testimony, what more proof do we need? It's clear that January 6 was an inside job, arranged by a weaponized FBI to make president Trump look bad...and to look guilty of something had had absolutely nothing to do with and in fact did his best to stop! Your day is coming, Mr Wray."

"I certainly hope so, as this surely wasn't it."

And what has former President Donald ("Heil me!") Trump been up to?

For one thing, he has been letting everyone within earshot know what he thinks of his "enemies" and what he plans to do to anyone who has ever looked at him the wrong way when—(he never says "if")—he is elected in 2024.

Here is the (dare we say it?) GOP frontrunner speaking at a rally on Veterans Day:

"We pledge to you that we will root out the communists, Marxists, fascists, and the radical-left thugs that live like vermin within the confines of our country [and who] lie and steal and cheat on elections."

It was only a matter of time until the word "vermin" surfaced, as Trump has used almost every other trick in his Hitler-inspired book to make clear that he plans to follow the Fuhrer's lead and place everyone who disagrees with him in cages, camps—or worse.

Listening to Trump, I can't help but recall a line from satirist Tom Lehrer's classic ode to German rocket scientist Werner von Braun, "a man whose allegiance is ruled by expedience. Call him a Nazi, he won't even frown; 'Nazi, Schmazi' says Werner von Braun."

The point being that Trump doesn't seem to care that everyone knows he's a wannabe Hitler. In his mind—we should say, in what is left of his mind—he believes that is a sure path to re-election, as a "strong man" is what the American people want and need in this time of chaos and division.

Trouble is, he could be right. President Joe Biden, Trump's likely opponent in the 2024 presidential race, looks anything but strong, while Trump—grossly overweight and subsisting mainly on a diet of Big Macs and fries—has spent his life posing as a "strong man" who can set any problem aright and make America great again (as long as he is able to have his way, no matter how bizarre and even unlawful his solutions may be).

While Trump has at least a decent shot at reclaiming the White House in '24, there is one sure way to stop him: with convictions on some of the ninety-one felonies he has been charged with in four jurisdictions. But when it comes to Trump, the wheels of justice not only move slowly, they barely move at all. When Fulton County (GA) district attorney Fani Willis says justice for Trump is imminent, she apparently defines "imminent" as somewhere in the distant future.

Yes, Trump is entitled to appeal... and appeal... and appeal, but if this were any other man charged with the same crimes he'd have been locked up long ago. Even after receiving every possible advantage, however, Trump continues to whine about our "broken" judicial system (the better to "fix" it when he regains power).

Given the snail-like pace of judgments against Trump, there remains one other way to stop this power-hungry madman from regaining office and obliterating a democratic structure that has stood tall for more than two hundred-forty years, and that is—I am looking at YOU, Americans—that is to resoundingly VOTE HIM OUT in 2024. Yes, he wouldn't accept that, and as in 2020, would do everything he could to try and reverse the outcome, even resorting again to violence—but he would fail, for a second time, to accomplish his purpose, and America's democracy would remain intact—at least until some future con man sought to hijack it for his own odious purposes.

Having said that, I will now set the crystal ball aside until it is needed again...

December 8, 2023

Another freewheeling, no-holds-barred interview with The Donald.

The scene: a lunchroom at Donald Trump's Mar-a-Lago resort. The disgraced ex-president is speaking:

"Here. Have some more of this Kool-Aid."

"Thank you, Mr president. It's quite refreshing..."

"My pleasure. I make it myself, you know. And at the risk of sounding boastful—something I would never do—I must say that most of my friends and colleagues—as well as millions of people I've never even met—have already drunk my Kool-Aid. I'm thinking of trademarking it..."

"That is impressive, sir..."

"Yes, it is. Of course there are a handful of RINOs who don't much care for the taste. Crazy Liz Cheney is one; Mitt Romney, Chris Christie, a few others...but as a rule, most of those who try it think it is simply delicious..."

"I can certainly see why, Mr president."

"Thanks. And I seem to have forgotten your name or why you are here..."

"Logsdon, sir. Davis Logsdon from The Trump Files."

"Oh, yes; The Trump Files. You've always been very kind to me..."

"We do our best, sir. And we're here today to ask about some of the things you've said recently at campaign rallies and elsewhere..."

"I see. Well then, let's get right down to business..."

"Before we do that, sir...I heard that Kevin McCarthy has resigned from congress. Any thoughts on that?"

"Only that when the chips were down he did the right thing—backed me to the hilt—and that he will continue to fight hard for the country he loves so much..."

"And why are you so sure of that?"

"Easy. I wrote the exit speech for him."

"Of course. Well, moving on, let's start with your remarks about the Affordable Care Act, generally known as Obamacare..."

"Obamacare! Pardon my language, but that piece of shit should never have become law..."

"Why do you say that, sir?"

"Mainly because it was drafted by an illegitimate president! Obama didn't qualify to hold that office; he wasn't even born in the US!"

"But sir, he served two terms—eight years in the White House..."

"I know he did—but that doesn't make it right. And I won't rest until Americans know the truth! We have operatives in Hawaii, in Kenya, and yes, here in the States, working around the clock, and trust me, we're going to get to the bottom of Obama's birth certificate scam no matter how long it takes! You can't just declare yourself president when you don't deserve it..."

"With all due respect, sir, isn't that what you tried to do in 2020?"

"No, no—that's completely different. I WON the 2020 election—by a LANDSLIDE—and was only trying to claim what was rightfully mine..."

"But. sir, the voters..."

"That's exactly my point! The voters elected ME! Crooked Joe Biden and the Democrats then STOLE the election, so I had every right to challenge the outcome..."

"Which you did, sir—in sixty court cases—every one of which you lost..."

"I didn't LOSE any of them! The crooked judges wouldn't let us present our case..."

"Some of those 'crooked' judges were appointed by you, sir..."

"I never said I was perfect—well, I might have—but everyone makes mistakes...Those judges lied about their undying loyalty to me before I nominated them. That's one mistake I won't make again..."

"So going back to where we started, you want to repeal Obamacare..."

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