The Trump Files

"Yeah, fishin' sure ain't gettin' any easier...even though there's a lot more room t' fish now that Florida, Louisiana, New York, DC, Virginia, Maryland and much of the West Coast is under water. If we only had less plastic in the sea it'd be a fisherman's paradise..."

"Well, y'know president Trump's been workin' hard on that. Too bad his Anti-Plastics Devastation Act has been tied up in Congress for the last seven years..."

"Yeah, I really thought it'd pass pretty easily after we made it a one-party Congress back in '45. Goes to show how wrong you can be."

"Yeah, them lawmakers are stubborn, all right. You'd think that with majorities of 415 in the house and 100 in the senate, more things would get done...on the other hand, they did rename some post offices last week..."

"Well, I s'pose that's better'n nothin...' And I know Barron is doin' the best he can to make things better. Still, he has so much on his plate, what with flyin' to all those disaster areas for photo-ops and such... I do wish he'd give vice president Q a few more things to do..."

March 9, 2022

As there is nothing much to report today about former president Trump who spent last weekend in New Orleans polishing his stand-up comic act, let's talk instead about

The elephant in the Russian-Ukrainian room:

Last week, senator Lindsey Graham (R-SC) was roundly condemned, by Democrats and Republicans alike, for asking if there were anyone in Russia willing to assassinate president Vladimir Putin. No one, his peers asserted, should make such inflammatory and irresponsible statements regarding the leader of another country. All well and good.

My question is this: if (and perhaps that should read "when") Putin manages to overrun Ukraine and its capital, Kyiv, and force its courageous defenders to fight a prolonged guerrilla war, what then happens to the country's democratically elected leader, Vlodomyr Zelensky? My guess is that president Zelensky would soon afterward "commit suicide"—with a little help from his friends to the east. Putin couldn't have an heroic, charismatic leader like Zelensky running around fomenting an insurgency; he would have to be eliminated. And so he would be.

Consequences? What could the world do aside from leveling even more sanctions on Putin and Russia? No one would be willing to go to war over Zelensky's assassination (which is what it would be). For Putin, the former KGB operative, it's all in a day's work. He would thumb his nose at the International Court of Justice, telling the Russian people that Zelensky had decided to take an extended vacation, perhaps in Hawaii—a pronouncement most would no doubt believe, as that is all they would know. The rest of the world would of course "hold Putin responsible" for Zelensky's death. But what does that mean? Aside from wringing hands and gnashing teeth, nothing more could be done. Putin would add Ukraine, and Zelensky, to his trophy case and go about being the madman he is and always has been.

I was struck by the perceptive analysis last week of a young employee at Echo of Moscow, the last independent Russian radio station, which had just been rendered silent by Russian decree. When asked what she saw as Russia's future, she replied, "North Korea. Our future is North Korea."

And so it shall be—unless...but no, no enlightened mind should never harbor such thoughts...

March 21, 2022

"Hello. This is Donald Trump, America's favorite president, speaking."

"Donald? Is Vladimir."

"Vladimir?"

"Yes, is Vladimir. Donald, you call me savvy, you call me genius. You praise me creating new countries next to Russia because I can. So why you no more phone me? Is lonely here in Kremlin. Many of my 'friends' have suddenly 'disappeared,' and I only see others at end of very long tables..."

"Well, Vlad, I've been meaning to call you—honest! (I love that word)! But I've had to lie low for a while—I mean, stop lying, low or high—because of the war in Ukraine..."

"War? WHAT war? No one in my country use that word! Is as you say, fake news! Forget untrue sign-holder on Russian TV! Is no war, only special military operation. We come to liberate Ukraine, take Nazis from so-called country..."

"I understand that, Vladimir. But for some reason, most Americans don't. They see these horrible pictures on TV and in newspapers of the bombing, the shelling, people being killed in the streets..."

"All lies! Russians never do that! Is Ukrainians killing own people to make me look bad! We bomb only military targets; if we miss, maybe few people—women, babies—get in way. Is their bad luck, but not our fault..."

"Of course, Vladimir. I know you better than that. No matter what our intelligence agencies—or our eyes—say, I'll always take your word for it, as you make a very strong case..."

"Is good, Donald. But why then you no speak up to what you call 'two dollars in sanctions,' two dollars that have almost ruin Russian economy."

"Well, it's kinda complicated, Vlad. You see, after the last election, some people here were fooled into thinking I lost. Well, a lot of people, actually. We tried to correct that on January 6 but couldn't find Mike Pence in time to hang him, so here I am cooped up in Mar-a-Lago—temporarily, of course!—while Joe Biden pretends he's the president. So as much as I'd like to help, I can't stop the sanctions until 2024—when, believe you me, they will end overnight..."

"But the congress still yours! You tell them use their voices to end sanctions now!"

"I would do that in a heart beat, Vlad, but even though most congressmen are pro-Trump—and believe me, they are to the core—they don't want to be seen as anti-American. If enough people thought congress was taking your side—even though it's the right one!—they could possibly lose the one thing that is even dearer to their hearts than loyalty to me—votes!"

"You hurt me, Donald. I was count on you to—as Americans say—have my back. Though special military operation is being big success and moving according to plan, I am much bothered by traitor Zelensky. He is too screaming, too big-name in west. We say 'give us Kyiv,' he say 'come and take it.' Is not very friendly. We must get Zelensky out of way—make sure Ukraine is free from Nazi evils..."

"I've been thinking about that, Vlad, and I may have a plan..."

"Is good, Donald. You are, as Americans also say, Putin's main man. Let us hear plan of yours."

"Well, even with the sanctions in place, I'm sure you must have a few rubles left. So you slip one of your spies into Kyiv...I know you can do that...have him contact Zelensky's doctor, and he bribes the doctor to convince Zelensky he has bone spurs..."

March 28, 2020

Having been out of the headlines for several weeks—save for an absurdly comical proposal that the U.S. equip some planes with Chinese insignia and "bomb the hell" out of Russia—former president (still pains me to have to write that) Donald ("hey, I'm over here!") Trump has pivoted to his reliable fall-back position, one that has never once failed to fire up his misguided base: pouncing on his arch-enemy, former secretary of state Hillary Clinton. This time, Trump has filed a lawsuit asking for $72 million in damages, accusing Clinton and others of taking part in a vast and nefarious years-long conspiracy to "destroy his life" [akin, no doubt, to the vast and nefarious conspiracy that cost him re-election in 2020]. Crooked Hillary and more than a dozen others, he claims, "orchestrated an unthinkable [not to mention preposterous, except in his warped mind] plot" to undermine his campaign and administration by weaving a "false narrative" [something along the lines of "I won the 2020 election!"] that Trump was "colluding with a hostile foreign sovereignty," i.e., Russia [which couldn't be true, as the former orator-in-chief thinks "colluding" is what the sky does before it rains].

Like most Trump lawsuits, this one is long on hyperbole but a tad short on facts. "The Defendants," the suit alleges, "blinded by political ambition [something Trump clearly knows nothing about], orchestrated a malicious conspiracy to disseminate false and injurious information [something the former propagandist-in-chief knows a lot about—January 6, anyone?] about Donald J Trump and his campaign, all in the hopes of destroying his life, his political career and rigging the 2016 presidential election in favor of Hillary Clinton." [Wait a minute—didn't Trump WIN that one?]

..."[T]he Defendants continue to spread their vicious lies to this day as they unabashedly publicize their thoroughly debunked falsehoods [does this man ever look in a mirror?] in an effort to ensure that he will never be elected again." [Let us pause here to pray for their success.]

Clinton's campaign of lies, in other words, is conclusive, much like Trump's recent assertion that special counsel John Durham had found "indisputable evidence" that his campaign and presidency "were spied on by operatives paid by the Clinton campaign in an effort to develop a completely fabricated connection to Russia" ["indisputable evidence" that has yet to see the light of day]. In fact, the decisive master of understatement continued, Clinton's Spygate is "a scandal far greater in scope and magnitude than Watergate." [When asked to comment, Durham reportedly rolled his eyes and mumbled something that sounded like "mucking boron."]

Nevertheless, Trump soldiers on [well, he would were it not for the bone spurs], leaning heavily on the law of averages to ensure that, after going zero-for-sixty in lawsuits contesting the 2020 election, this one simply has to go his way. To make absolutely sure, the rumor at Mar-a-Lago is that former president never-say-die has enlisted Rudy Giuliani and Sidney Powell to represent him in court [as they too should be favored by the law of averages].

In unrelated (but similarly cringe-worthy) news...

Ginni Thomas, the wife of Supreme Court justice Clarence Thomas, pleaded in nearly thirty text messages to Trump's White House chief of staff Mark Meadows following the 2020 presidential election for him to find some way to overturn the results and reinstall Trump to his rightful position as president-for-life. She did this as Trump vowed to take his fight for re-election all the way to the Supreme Court. I wonder if Ginni Thomas would have any influence there...

April 4, 2020

There is always a logical explanation:

"Mr president (sound of knock on door)... Mr president, I don't mean to sound pushy but there's a long line forming out here... You've been in there now, according to my watch, for almost seven hours and thirty-seven minutes..."

"Hold your horses, I'm coming... almost there... give me one moment... (sound of toilet flushing). There... that takes care of it!... sorry about that... things were a bit backed up today. Took a bit longer than usual (sound of door opening). By the way, did anything interesting happen while I was in there?"

Putin isn't the only genius:

Responding to the Taliban's recent edict barring Afghan girls from entering high school, former president Donald ("grab 'em by the pussy") Trump called the move "sheer genius," adding that "it didn't cost them a penny" to do so. "Look, the Taliban know what they're doing," Trump said. "They can't have young women and girls getting an education; they could learn how to read, write, use the internet, social media, maybe understand that the assholes who are running their country are living in the thirteenth century and should be replaced by others who believe that women's lives are worth more than cattle or goats... that could cause real problems down the road. Far better to keep 'em in the kitchen—and the bedroom—where they belong. Thumbs up, Taliban!"

There's one in every family:

Trump's son-in-law, Jared Kushner, didn't require a subpoena from the House committee investigating the January 6 Capitol insurrection; he came to see them voluntarily. And no, he didn't invoke the Fifth Amendment, answering their questions as honestly as anyone related to Donald Trump could. Was the info he supplied of any value? No one is saying. But word has it that Trump is taking no chances; he has rearranged the seating order at his Mar-a-Lago resort, placing Jared and first daughter Ivanka under the table with Mike Pence, John Bolton, Mitch McConnell and Anthony Scaramucci. Their former seats to Trump's right and left have been given to Clarence and Ginni Thomas.

And speaking of Ginni Thomas:

To paraphrase Ko-Ko in Gilbert & Sullivan's operetta The Mikado, she had a little list. In fact, she had quite a number of them, many of which she presented personally to the former cabalist-in-chief during luncheon meetings at the White House—luncheons that may have pleased Trump and Thomas but left many WH staffers with upset stomachs and severe migraines. Thomas' lists included suggestions about which of Trump's lackeys should be fired and who should be hired to replace them. Trouble was, according to at least one WH staffer, Thomas' "fucking lists were... insane and unworkable." As the lists were most often based on rumor, conjecture or score-settling, staffers had to use valuable time diverting Trump's attention or reasoning with him to ignore Thomas' suggestions, noting that the lists were rife with the names of bigots, conspiracy theorists and, in at least one case, a suspected spy. There is no way to know how many of her suggestions Trump acted on, but one would have been one too many.

And the beat goes on:

Unable to phone Ukrainian president Vlodomyr Zelensky because of interference caused by Russian bombs landing between D.C. and Kyiv, former president "do me a favor" called his good friend Vladimir Putin to ask that he stop bombing the shit out of Ukraine long enough to dig up some dirt on Hunter Biden, in case Hunter's dad should decide to run for re-election in 2024. "Look, Vlad, I know you have enough smut in your files to hang me high if you ever used it," Trump said, according to the waiters and busboys at Mar-a-Lago who Trump insisted should listen in. "Surely you must have something ugly enough to sink Joe's chances." No one is quite sure what Putin replied before he hung up, as he was speaking in Russian, but some listeners swore it sounded a lot like "mucking boron."

April 18, 2022

According to those who score such things (it's an onerous job but somebody has to do it), former president Donald J (for "very stable jenius") Trump told more than thirty thousand lies during his four years in office, or an average of roughly twenty-one per day. Since then—thanks to therapy and the absence of nearby microphones—he has managed to keep the habit more or less under control, in spite of the occasional slip ("I made a hole-in-one!"). Actually, that one could be true, as even a blind dog finds a bone every once in a while. That does not, however, excuse the more than thirty thousand other falsehoods, dominated by The Big Lie, the one that promotes the false narrative that Trump "won" the 2020 presidential election even though there is overwhelming evidence that he never came within shouting distance of Joe Biden.

Trump's most popular and oft-repeated lie? That his administration had built "the greatest economy in the history of the world." According to fact-checkers at the Washington Post, president "trust me!" used that phrase 493 times, easily eclipsing the runner-up, that tax-cuts introduced by his administration were "the biggest on record" (296 times). Rather than revisit the others, suffice to say that Trump's worst day (or best, according to one's point of view) for false or misleading statements was November 2, 2020, one day before American voters showed him the door (503 lies that day, according to WaPo).

We bring these things up because even though he has been to some extent muzzled (except during his largely incoherent and unhinged "rallies"), Trump continues to spread lies through his Save America and Truth Social web sites, laying the groundwork for what looks to be another presidential bid in 2024.

President Biden's son, Hunter, remains a prime target, of course. Among other things, he is, according to Truth Social, involved in building and running bio-labs in Ukraine, labs in which the CIA and National Institutes of Health are "deeply involved." Russia's invasion of Ukraine, we are told, was set in motion by a "false-flag" operation funded by another favorite GOP scapegoat, George Soros. I bet you never even suspected that. Oh, and if that's not enough to whet your interest, it seems the Covid virus didn't originate in China ("the China virus," as Trump loudly and repeatedly brayed) but in Shypl'chyna, a village in—wait for it—Ukraine! Well, "chyna, China," what's the difference?

And that's not all, "truth"-seekers. It seems that Neo-Nazis from Ukraine united with the FBI to incite the January 6 invasion of the US Capitol building. Why? Well, because president Biden has been using Ukraine as a convenient place to launder money. And if there is anyone who understands all there is to know about laundering money, it's the former dry-cleaner-in-chief. So is there any depth to which Ukraine—in collaboration with the Bidens—will not sink? Not according to Truth Social. Even pedophilia isn't off the table; in fact, according to TS, that could be Biden's Achilles heel.

Save America, on the other hand, doesn't spend a lot of time addressing such issues. It is far too busy trying to squeeze every last penny from the wallets and bank accounts of Trump's brain-dead supporters. It's hard to know where to begin with Save America, aside from saying it is hard to believe that anyone above the age of, say, five could possibly believe these mass-produced and mass-distributed pleas for money were addressed personally to him or her. In sum, these are classic snake oil cure-alls, aimed directly at the gullible and unchanged from the time of P.T. Barnum. For example:

"I want you to know how important you are to me. When I think of my most valuable supporters, I don't think of the ones who are necessarily the BIGGEST donors...I think of the ones who have been with me since day one. I think of the ones who fought alongside me from the countless impeachment WITCH HUNTS to the ELECTION SCAM and to now. I think of the ones who constantly FIGHT BACK against the Fake News media's LIES. I think of the ones I know I can count on. I think of YOU, Friend."

Dripping with patriotic sincerity, right? And addressed to someone who has NEVER responded to the hundreds of pleas for money received from Save America nor to the many other gross and outrageous scams including lotteries in which the "winner" will share dinner and backstage amenities at a Trump rally, or other goodies ranging from an autographed MAGA hat, a signed photo of Trump with Herschel Walker, and so on. Pigeons are also invited to take surveys, or to offer their opinions, which they are assured the con-man-in-chief will actually read and consider. To allay any doubts that these offers are coming from anywhere but the top, Trump takes pains to reassure them:

"Friend, I just got out of a meeting with my team to discuss an upcoming dinner in DALLAS, and I told them I wanted to invite YOU to join me." (Wow! Trump himself wants ME to have dinner with him in Dallas! See? I told you I was special!) "This isn't any ordinary trip, Friend. This is a very exclusive dinner with VIP guests ONLY, and I can't think of anyone else I'd rather share this special evening with than YOU." (Right you are, sir; I'm packing my bags right this minute!) "The cost of your flight, hotel AND meal will be covered." (Has there ever been anyone more generous than you, my president?) "All you have to do is contribute $45 or more, and you'll automatically be entered to win this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity." (Entered? To win? You mean it's like a lottery? But you said you wanted to share this special evening with ME! Suppose I don't have the winning entry? Does that mean you'll be spending the evening with SOMEONE ELSE? How can that be? My heart is broken, Mr president...but don't worry, I'll still vote for you in '24).

Don Jr also posts regularly on Save America (and if you believe that, I have some choice swampland near Mar-a-Lago I'd like to offer for sale). "My father, the 45th president of the United States," pseudo-Don writes, "wants to meet YOU at an upcoming rally." And while you are digesting that incredibly good news, he adds, "But that's not all, Friend. I even recorded a TOP secret message for you that contains confidential information (perhaps along the lines of "be sure to drink your Ovaltine"). And all you have to do to reap this fabulous harvest is..." the pitch for money follows in short order.

Not to be outdone, Trump Sr sees Don Jr's offer and raises it: "I am giving you one of the GREATEST deals you will see all day." Why? Because "you have always been one of my most loyal supporters" (no matter that I am convinced you were the worst president in America's history and wouldn't vote for you if you were running against Mickey Mouse), and to show my appreciation, "I am offering you an EXCLUSIVE deal. Friend, I am giving you 10 percent OFF my iconic TRUMP SAVE AMERICA WINE GLASSES." Then comes the usual kicker, as listed in our survey of cautionary "red flags" about a month or so ago: "But you can't wait long. This offer expires in ONE HOUR."

But if that's a problem, you still have time to join the Trump 100 Club, and that'll cost you only $100! Still not sure? Okay, let's say $45 to receive a Personalized Official 2022 Trump Gold Card. Our best offer yet! And not a whole lot of money, Friend, to help "Save America." But if that's still too much, we'll settle for $10, $5, anything you have...bitcoin, spare change, IOUs...please...We can't Save America without you... Friend!

Lies, lies and more lies, piled in an execrable heap. Even so, we have barely scratched the surface of Truth Social or Save America. And in case you may think you've heard them all, we've saved the best for last. This is what Trump actually said in an interview last week:

..."I think I'm the most honest human being, perhaps, that God has ever created."

And the scariest part about that lie is that Trump believes he is telling the truth.

May 3, 2022

Once again, the scene is a courtroom in Atlanta, GA. And once again, the judge is speaking:

"Good morning, everyone. Day two of this preliminary hearing is now in order. Would you please swear in the witness."

"Yes, your honor. Please raise your right hand...no, no, your RIGHT hand! That's better...Now, do you solemnly swear..."

"Yada, yada, yada. Yes, of course."

"Thank you. Please be seated. Today, your honor, we are again deposing congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene, known to her collapsing circle of friends as Pistol Packin' Mama. Now Ms Greene, isn't it true that after the January 6 attack on the US Capitol building, you encouraged the president to declare 'Marshall law...'"

"I'm sorry, sir. And I'm sorry, your honor. I can't answer any more of your questions."

"You're saying you can't answer any questions? Why? Are you exercising your Fifth Amendment rights?"

"No...not exercising...whatever they are...and I've already had my morning workout, so I don't need any more exercise. All I'm saying is, I can no longer answer any questions."

"And I presume you have a valid reason for that?"

"Well, I brought a note from my doctor..."

"A note? From your doctor? Please tell us, Ms Greene, what does your doctor say that may be pertinent to this hearing?"

"He says I have magnesia."

"Magnesia? I see. And because you have 'magnesia' you can't answer our questions?"

"Well, according to the doctor, it's called 'selective magnesia.' I can remember most things; the only ones I can't remember are the ones that could get me in trouble, like the questions you were asking me yesterday..."

"Please let me see that note, Ms Greene. Uh huh. Yes, your honor (winks at judge), it does indeed say Ms Greene has 'magnesia...'So how should we proceed from here?"

"Given the circumstances, and Ms Greene's logical cause for not answering, I can see no reason to continue the hearing. You may stand down, Ms Greene. Your candor and honesty are greatly appreciated, and you may rest assured I will forward to the proper authorities my staunch opinion that the effort to bar you from holding office in this state is both fruitless and misguided. In fact, your well-informed responses to the court uphold the finest traditions of Georgia politics. This hearing is hereby adjourned, and l leave you with one last thought...Go Herschel!"

Meanwhile, in Trumpland...

A judge in New York City last week refused to stay his order that former president Teflon-coated is in contempt of court for refusing to surrender documents related to an investigation by NY attorney general Letitia James into the Trump Organization and must continue to pay $10,000 a day in fines until the requisite documents are produced. And as if that news weren't bad enough, the Trump Organization has been indicted by a grand jury in Manhattan for alleged tax-related crimes.

So how has the maestro of litigation responded to those setbacks? The same way he always does: by turning to his cash cow, the online Save America scam, and instructing his hired guns to bombard those sitting ducks who continue to swallow his lies with even more pleas for donations to help "Save America" (yeah, right). From April 24-30, I counted at least ninety-three such entreaties in my in-box, every one of which begged for money (I am on the site merely to keep tabs on what the swindler-in-chief is up to). Do the math and you'll see that totals more than thirteen solicitations per day, almost all carefully worded to seem as though they were addressed only to me. It's true, I have turned down some spectacular offers: dinner with the former president in Dallas; an Official 2022 Trump Gold Card; Trump Save America Pint Glasses (10 percent off); Commemorative Trump Limited Edition Gold Coins; membership in the Trump 100 Club; an invitation to become an Official Trump 2022 MVP, and to receive an autographed Trump Golfing Photo, among other shiny objects.

I also passed on taking part in Official Corrupt Media and Official State of the Nation surveys, to add my name to the Official Deadline Donor List, or to unlock the super-secret classified video recorded by the former charlatan-in-chief for my eyes only. I really hated to skip that last one, as I can still recall the thrilling top-secret messages I received from Tom Mix, Little Orphan Annie and Dick Tracy.

Keep in mind, these entreaties for cash are among those received in only ONE WEEK, April 24-30. The Save America money-mobile never slows its engine; the drumbeat for donations is ceaseless, and so far, we've heard, has steered almost $130 million into Trump's ever-receptive pockets. Little wonder he is able to shrug off that $10,000-a-day fine and continue golfing at Mar-a-Lago. When Trump's boat is sinking and he needs a paddle, his brainwashed "patriots" can always be counted on to help bail him out. Of course, we know he would do the same for them...

May 8, 2022

"Those who don't know history are doomed to repeat it."—generally attributed to Edmund Burke (1729-1797)

Spoiler alert: The following commentary has little to do with former president Donald the Blackhearted, even though his menacing shadow looms over it, as always.

In October 1919, congress, in its infinite wisdom, passed the National Prohibition Act, more commonly known as the Volstead Act, to lend enforcement muscle to the 18th Amendment to the US Constitution, which was ratified in January of that year. The Volstead Act was immediately vetoed on technical grounds by president Woodrow Wilson, whose veto was overridden by the House of Representatives that same day and by the Senate one day later.

The 18th Amendment forbade the production, sale and transport of "intoxicating liquors," and granted the federal government and individual states the power to enforce it. Hence, the Volstead Act, named for Andrew Volstead, chairman of the House judiciary committee. The express purposes of the Act were:

1. to prohibit the sale of intoxicating beverages such as liquor, beer and alcohol

2. to regulate the manufacture, production, use and sale of high-proof spirits for other than beverage purposes

3. to ensure an ample supply of alcohol and promote its use in scientific research and the development of fuel, dye and other lawful industries.

The Act stated that "no person shall on or after the date when the eighteenth amendment to the Constitution of the United States goes into effect, manufacture, sell, barter, transport, import, export, deliver, furnish or possess any intoxicating liquor except as authorized in this Act..."

Behind the fancy language lay the Volstead Act's unambiguous purpose: to persuade Americans to stop drinking alcohol.

And of course, one day after the Act was passed every American stopped drinking alcohol.

Just kidding.

The Volstead Act did little to reduce the consumption of alcohol in America, except among the poor and disadvantaged. Wealthier Americans had no problem slaking their thirst for booze, as, in the grand tradition of American entrepreneurship, when one spigot closes, another one opens.

In this case, the spigot unleashed a torrent of bootleggers, speakeasies, bribery and extortion schemes and, most of all, new business opportunities for such Goodfellas as Al Capone, Big Jim Colosimo, Bugs Moran, Dean O'Banion, Tony Lombardo, Lucky Luciano, Salvatore Maranzano and scores of other wannabes, making the Prohibition era one of the bloodiest in American history. The moral: people were going to drink, no matter what the cost, Volstead Act be damned.

By the time Americans had had enough, and ratified the Constitution's 21st Amendment in 1933, repealing the 18th Amendment and thus Prohibition, the damage had been done. The gangs spawned by the Volstead Act had become ultra-powerful, maintaining their stranglehold on a wide range of illegal (and sometimes legal) activities for many years to come.

Americans? They were truly chastened, vowing "never again" to enact legislation or take other measures to curb or criminalize normal human behavior.

Until now.

Last week, thanks to a leaked draft decision, Americans learned that the US Supreme Court is poised to overturn the landmark decision in Roe v Wade, which in 1973 granted women the lawful right to an abortion in the first trimester of a pregnancy. This was hardly unexpected, as the three conservative justices nominated by president Empathetic 1 and confirmed by congress had vowed (privately, of course, while lying to congress about it publicly) to overturn Roe v Wade ASAP. The court is expected to make public its ruling in June or July. On the day of its decision, every pregnant woman in America will obviously come to her senses and decide not to have an abortion.

Just kidding.

As the Volstead Act did almost nothing to stop Americans from drinking, overturning Roe v Wade cannot and will not stop American women from having abortions.

What it WILL do is stop many of them from having "legal" abortions, as in clean, well-run and well-regulated clinics. Instead, America will return to the "good old days" of back alleys and unclean knives, akin to what the "war on drugs" has done to curb addiction. Some of the more affluent may have access to abortion pills, but states are moving to make them pretty much off-limits as well.

Whatever the odds, American women will continue to have abortions, as the alternative is often far too grim and unacceptable. The only difference is, many will have them "behind closed doors," and I don't mean the doors of the nearest clinic, which may soon be out of reach for the less fortunate among them. If the pro-life movement has its way, abortion will soon be illegal in every state. Will that stop women from having abortions? About as much as the Volstead Act stopped Americans from drinking. In other words, absolutely not.

This is not an argument for or against abortion, only a foretaste of the hazardous road that lies ahead if (make that when) the Supreme Court obliterates Roe v Wade, as well as a reminder of what Edmund Burke (or some other wise head) so presciently forecast:

"Those who don't know history are doomed to repeat it."

One last footnote...

As Gomer Pyle used to say, "Surprise, surprise!" A judge in Atlanta ruled Friday that he sees no reason why US rep Marjorie Taylor Greene shouldn't be allowed to continue to serve the people of Georgia, as she has so brilliantly for the past couple of years. Greene hailed the decision, as is her custom, with a twenty-one gun salute, while Georgians dutifully penciled her name on their ballots, as dictated by their all-powerful monarch, Donald the Magnificent. Surprise, surprise!

May 24, 2022

It's a warm afternoon in May at the Mar-a-Lago resort in southern Florida. Former president Donald Trump is about to climb aboard his ever-present golf cart for a quick round at his private 18-hole course when he is surrounded by a group of reporters, note pads and tape recorders in hand.

"Mr president (wink, wink), Mr president (fingers crossed), we'd like to ask you a few questions about US congressman Barry Loudermilk of Georgia..."

"He has my complete and total endorsement!"

"We understand that Rep Loudermilk denied any involvement in conducting tours of the US Capitol building on January 5, 2021, the day before a large group of militants breached the Capitol and confronted police in an attempt to delay or interrupt certification by the congress of US electoral votes..."

"He has my complete and total endorsement!"

"In fact, he filed a complaint with the House ethics committee against Rep Mikie Sherrill of New Jersey, accusing her of falsely insinuating that he may have led an an unauthorized 'reconnaissance tour' on a day when the Capitol building was closed to visitors."

"He has my complete and total endorsement!"

"In fact, he and other GOP members of the House administration committee—on which Loudermilk serves—said they had reviewed security footage of that day and there were in fact no such tours."

"He has my complete and total endorsement!"

"Faced with new evidence, however, Loudermilk admitted he had met for lunch with some constituents from Georgia that day, but that none of them had actually set foot in the Capitol building."

"He has my complete and total endorsement!"

"But the House select committee investigating the January 6 Capitol riot says there is new evidence to the contrary."

"He has my complete and total endorsement!"

"Rep Loudermilk now says that, yes, he did lead a group into the Capitol building but it was only a single family with children, some of whom happened to be wearing red baseball caps."

"He has my complete and total endorsement!"

"The January 6 committee says they aren't buying that, and have asked Rep Loudermilk to testify before the committee under oath."

"He has my complete and total endorsement!"

"Committee members have said it seems rather strange that the rioters on January 6 seemed to be quite familiar with the Capitol building's layout and knew almost exactly where to find offices that members of the public usually couldn't locate, especially those of Democrats like Nancy Pelosi and others..."

"He has my complete and total endorsement!"

"Rep Loudermilk says that's merely a coincidence, that there is no way anyone could have received such information from him..."

"He has my complete and total endorsement!"

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