The Trump Files

"Do you have something more to say, Mr Trump?"

"You bet I have! This whole show was rigged! There's no way I lose fair and square to Ron DeSanctimonious! He got all the easy questions! Someone had to be tampering with that board! I'm calling a lawyer...and as you know, I only hire the best. Look, I only need another $301! Gimme a break!"

"I'm afraid we can't do that, Mr Trump. After all, there are rules..."

"Rules? Trust me, I know all about your 'rules,' and they come straight from Venezuela! Look, we know that 'Crooked Joe' Biden and deranged Jack Smith are behind this somehow. We'll soon be taking you and your altered game board to court...then we'll see who's the biggest and best Dummy of them all! Donald Trump may be a liar and a fraud, but he's no loser!"

"And on that contentious note, it's time to say goodbye as we wrap up today's exciting—and unpredictable—edition of 'Jeopardy! for Dummies.' This is Taylor Fleet begging you to please tune in at the same time tomorrow, when our special guests will be Lauren Boebert, Marjorie Taylor Greene and Matt Gaetz! Get ready for some fireworks! Until then, best wishes and best of luck to all of you from everyone at 'Jeopardy! for Dummies!'"

January 8, 2024

Where is Orson Welles when we need him...

President Biden travels to Valley Forge, PA, on the eve of January 6, and delivers what (to him) is an impassioned speech about the grave and imminent threat to our democracy posed by former president Donald ("Mein Fuhrer") Trump—you know, the kind of speech that should draw a wild and enthusiastic response. Instead, Biden's message is greeted for the most part with courteous applause and perhaps some barely stifled yawns. Some of his best talking points are met with silence.

Meanwhile, Trump the serial fabulist struts onstage at any given campaign rally, unleashes a torrent of lies and utter claptrap, and basks in the unbridled adulation that follows. True, most of those at his rallies are hand-picked, diehard MAGA defenders waving carefully written signs, but the result is a picture that plays quite well, especially on television and in social media.

While I am neither Democrat nor Republican, I am a wholehearted Biden supporter who believes the re-election of Donald Trump in November could well mark the end of American democracy as we know it. Even so, whenever Biden starts to speak I can't help cringing. I know he can't help it, but Biden talks like a politician, something he always has done and thus is second nature to him. He has the right message; he simply doesn't have whatever it takes to persuade an audience to buy into it. The recipe may be flavorful but the ingredients, in Biden's hands, seem somehow stale, warmed-over and far from appetizing. To horsewhip another analogy, he's like a poker player who holds four aces but can't resist the urge to fold.

Trump, on the other hand, has no message at all—at least none that is germane or coherent—but he does know how to sell a product—namely, himself—as he has been doing so all his life.

Hence the reference to Welles, a marvelous actor whose smooth baritone voice was so warm and his manner so reassuring he could sell sun tan lotion to an Eskimo. Welles was never known to mumble, stumble, trip over a word or misspeak. If only Orson Welles could deliver Biden's speeches! even the glib but nonsensical Trump would be badly overmatched and readily sent packing. That can never happen, of course, as Welles—and his magnificent voice—left us almost thirty-eight years ago. But in the realm of wishful thinking, his reappearance would be No. 1 on my list...

The second hope on that list would be to have a US Supreme Court that wasn't rife with corruption and bought and paid-for by special interests. You know, the kind of court that reaches opinions fairly and honestly, based on Constitutional law rather than ideological bias. Donald Trump is appealing his exclusion from the presidential ballot in Colorado to the nation's highest court, which has agreed to consider his petition and will begin hearing arguments on February 8. (No, justice Clarence Thomas will not recuse himself.) A decision could come anytime thereafter up to the end of the Court's current session in June, rendered in part by the three justices Trump appointed to help rescue him from such unwanted intrusions on his perceived power.

And rescue him they will, as I see in my often cloudy crystal ball. Here is how they will do it.

First, the question of whether the former president, having sworn an oath to support the Constitution, "shall have engaged in insurrection or rebellion against the same," or "given aid and comfort to the enemies thereof" will be brushed aside by the court and rendered moot.

And how might that be accomplished?

Simply by ruling that, in the Court's opinion, the events of January 6, 2021, no matter how horrendous and bloody, did not rise to the level of "insurrection." Thus, there having been no "insurrection," the former president could not have "engaged" in one, nor given "aid and comfort" to anyone involved in a rebellion against the US or its Constitution; ergo (lawyer jargon), he is fully qualified to be on the ballot, not only in Colorado but in the forty-nine other states as well. And the loathsome noise that awakens you each morning from then until November will be Trump crowing about his great "victory" in the Court.

I figured that one out myself. Didn't have to be a jurist, only smart enough to read the minds of our Supreme Court justices, which are generally set in stone long before most cases are submitted for their "impartial" and "Constitution-based" opinion.

Sorry to be so hard on the Court, but anytime a group of people—no matter who or how many—are given lifetime appointments with no checks and balances, trouble must necessarily follow. The Supreme Court may weigh arguments, but in the end, its word—no matter how flawed or unpopular, is law—and there is nothing anyone can do about it but complain.

In this case, it doesn't really matter whether Trump is "on" or "off" any ballots except in a handful of so-called swing states in which every presidential election is decided. The "red" states vote for Trump, the "blue" states for Biden, and the former president could lose the popular vote by many millions and still be re-elected if he were to win enough "swing states" to raise the electoral count to 270 in his favor. Yes, it doesn't make much sense, but that's the way we've always done things, and hell may freeze over before that changes.

On another matter, the one involving Trump's "absolute immunity" from prosecution for any actions he took or crimes he may have committed as president, the Court—should it choose to hear the case—will reluctantly rule against Trump. It really has no choice, as a decision in Trump's favor would mean that he and any president who succeeded him—if indeed there were any—would be given free rein to do whatever he (or she) pleased, custom and law be damned. In other words, Trump and anyone who followed would arrogate to themselves the rights of kings—the very rights our Founding Fathers fought a revolution to nullify. Even our hallowed Supreme Court, unprincipled and inept as it has proven to be, would face a catastrophic backlash upon endorsing such a clear and evident miscarriage of the Constitution. Of course, I could be wrong...

And finally...

Let us lay to rest once and for all the concept of "Crooked Joe" Biden, an epithet coined by former president Trump who has yet to produce even the slightest shred of evidence that Biden has ever had so much as a parking ticket. Biden has to be "Crooked Joe" because that is what Trump does—he takes every twisted and deplorable trait of his own and projects it onto his "enemies," real or imagined.

And so we will have Dastardly DeSantis, Halfwit Haley, Sleazy Schumer, Petulant Pelosi, Slimy Swalwell, Mealy-mouthed McConnell, Childish Cheney, Bigoted Bragg, Weak-minded Willis, Jumbled James—any derisive label Trump can hang on opponents given his limited vocabulary.

It's the same with "Crooked Joe"—a repulsive slur, yes, but totally meaningless. For nicknames that strike closer to home, may we propose "Dummkopf Donald" or "Kaiser Trump." It's time we started using those labels to best describe the wretched alternative to "Crooked Joe."

January 15, 2024

Wayne LaPierre, the public face and voice of the National Rifle Association for nearly three decades, announced his retirement last week, a few days before the NRA's trial for civil fraud was to begin in Manhattan. It was LaPierre who once famously said, "The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun." Even though the axiom has been proven wrong on numerous occasions, it still makes for good copy, as they say in the news biz, and so it is randomly cited even though the facts prove otherwise.

Such sweeping generalizations, true or false (well, almost without exception false), have been Donald Trump's bread and butter since he and Melania rode down that escalator more than seven years ago and the former president embarked on his vendetta against immigrants from south of the border, labeling (many of) them "murderers and rapists," and claiming more recently, to paraphrase his role model, Adolph Hitler, that they are "poisoning the blood of our nation."

As patently false and outlandish as those premises are, they pale in comparison to Trump's most egregious fabrication—that the 2020 presidential election was "rigged" and that he somehow "won" in spite of overwhelming evidence to the contrary. Trump's dogged insistence that Joe Biden was unfairly elected, and his refusal to consider any facts that would undermine that position, morphed into what has become known as The Big Lie.

Today, more than three years after the fact, and with zero proof to support it, The Big Lie remains viable, thanks to an endless stream of misinformation and propaganda from Trump and his craven abettors in Congress and elsewhere. So what can be done to counter it? Well, to begin with, why not borrow a page from Wayne LaPierre's Big Book of Whoppers: "The only thing that stops a con man with a lie is an honest man with the truth."

Yes, I know, "a lie can circle the globe faster than the truth can circle the block." But hear me out.

If everyone—and by everyone I mean everyone who has access to the Internet, social media or other means of communication and who wishes Trump would simply dry up and blow away—would saturate the media with the truth, and do that on a daily or even hourly basis—the way Trump lies day and night to keep his herd of sheep in line—it could be effective.

Yes, that truth wouldn't sway most listeners, and many of those it reached would dismiss it out of hand. But the point is, changing only a handful of minds could be enough to sink Trump's ship before it left the harbor. He is on uncommonly shaky ground these days, nowhere near the irresistible force he was in 2016 or, to a lesser degree, 2020. With four indictments and more than ninety felony charges weighing against him, people are starting to have doubts about the former con man-in-chief, in spite of his constant whining about "witch hunts" and "they're coming for you, not me." Where there is so much smoke, people reason, there must at least be some fire.

One way to kindle that fire is by countering The Big Lie with The Big Truth. Let the American people know on a daily basis that the emperor Trump has no clothes, that the wizard behind that screen exercises no special powers, that Trump is no more than a pathetic huckster who isn't fit to run a car wash, let alone a country. In other words, a LOSER (the one word he can't bear to hear or accept). And beyond that, a loser who, unlike those he paints with his scurrilous brush, really does hate American democracy and would like nothing better than to tear it down.

Okay, so we are preaching to the choir here, and even The Big Truth may fail to unmask and neuter Trump, as most other efforts to date have fallen short. But it's certainly worth a try, as the worst that can happen is a stalemate. And as Barry Goldwater might have phrased it, "Stalemate in the face of evil is no sin."

Of course, any attempt to derail the Trump demolition train would be far more gratifying if the aspirants next in line weren't Nikki Haley and Ron DeSantis, but you can't have everything. At least the justice system in New York State may soon weaken or even thrash the unprincipled NRA, and that alone could make 2024 a year to cherish.

And finally...

In light of the refusal by Republicans in congress to authorize aid to Ukraine unless and until other unrelated demands are sanctioned, it is good to note that the UK, France and other European countries are stepping in to help fill the void. And speaking of voids, they clearly occupy the lion's share of space where the brain should be in the heads of those same GOP hard-liners who can't seem to grasp the reality that helping Ukraine in its life-or-death struggle with Russia is vital to our own national security...

January 22, 2024

A popular refrain being sung these days—surprisingly, by members of both political parties—is that Joe Biden is "too old" to be re-elected president in November, even though his putative challenger, Donald ("I aced the cognitive test!") Trump, is only three years younger.

That raises the question, how old is "too old"? And the answer is, no one really knows, as it depends on a large number of factors including one's mental and physical health. In spite of a tendency—which he has always had—to slur his words and talk like a politician, Biden sounds like a masterful orator when compared to Trump, who seldom utters a coherent phrase or sentence and whose factual and semantic gaffes would fill a book the size and length of War and Peace.

In the end, it is the American voters who must decide whether Biden is "too old" to carry out his duties as president. And it's not as though they haven't made similar decisions before. As, for example, when electing members of the US Senate and House of Representatives who are charged with drafting the laws that govern all Americans. In the Senate, voters have chosen these legislators to lead them:

Jim Risch, R-ID, 80; Mitch McConnell, R-KY, 81; Bernie Sanders, Ind-VT, 82; Chuck Grassley, R-IA, 90. Grassley was re-elected in 2022 at age 89, and Senator Dianne Feinstein was 90 when she died with her boots on last September.

In the House, the list of senior citizens is even longer, and includes:

Kay Granger, R-TX, 80; Anna Eshoo, D-CA, 80; Frederica Wilson, D-FL, 80; Rosa DeLauro, D-CT, 80; Virginia Foxx, R-NC, 80; John Carter, R-TX, 81; Danny Davis, D-IL, 82; James Clyburn, D-SC, 83; Nancy Pelosi, D-CA, 83; Steny Hoyer, D-IL, 84; Maxine Waters, D-CA, 85; Hal Rogers, R-KY, 85; Bill Pascrell Jr, D-NJ, 86; Grace Napolitano, D-CA, 86.

Eleanor Holmes Norton, the non-voting delegate from the District of Columbia, is 86.

Apparently, voters don't consider those members of congress too old to represent them. And many of those venerable legislators are planning to run again when their current term expires (that is, if they don't expire first).

You may have guessed by now that I don't believe Joe Biden is too old to be president. He already has my vote; I hope he will have yours as well.

Without disclosing my own age, I will simply say that I am older than everyone on that list except Chuck Grassley and the late senator Feinstein—and I certainly don't consider myself "too old" to continue writing The Trump Files. In fact, I don't consider myself "old" at all, even though I am well aware that I can't run quite as fast as I did when I was a teen-ager and that the time I have left is, to put it delicately, limited. I do intend to spend as much of that time as possible doing the things I love most—and there are few things I love more than exposing Donald Trump's narcissism and lust for power or skewering his lies and hypocrisy.

Again, what does "too old" really mean? Not a whole lot, at least not to me. I'd rather follow the advice of the great George Burns, who famously said, "You can't help growing older, but you don't have to grow old."

Amen, George.

Elsewhere...

Former president Donald ("let me be honest with you") Trump's "Make America Great Again" web site, to be precise. As the twice-impeached, four-times indicted ex-con man-in-chief grasps desperately at straws while using every tactic his lawyers can invent to delay the several trials in which he faces ninety-one felony charges, here is a sample of what his MAGA "patriots" are seeing and reading:

Biden is guilty as hell! Why? Because he's conducting the biggest ELECTION INTERFERENCE operation in history [Note: president Biden has absolutely nothing to do with Trump's indictments or trials.] I'M COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY INNOCENT! [The jury is still out on that claim, Donald.] First, I got impeached, TWICE. Then, I was found NOT GUILTY, TWICE. [It's good to have GOP friends in high places.] Now, Biden's Corrupt Cronies are LAUNCHING ANOTHER WITCH HUNT [see Note 1 above]. Democrats across the country are marching at light speed to REMOVE ME FROM THE BALLOT [actually, some Republicans are marching that way too].

THIS WILL MAKE YOUR BLOOD BOIL! Friend, the New Hampshire primary is DAYS away. But the national Democrat plan to REMOVE me from the ballot is still full steam ahead. [It's not a "Democrat plan," it's an action based on Amendment 14, Section 3 of the US Constitution.] They want me off the ballot in ALL 50 STATES! SICK, SICK, SICK! ANOTHER WITCH HUNT TRIAL STARTED TODAY [actually, a hearing to determine damages; you've already been convicted in that "witch hunt"]. They want me locked away. They want me SILENCED. THEY WANT ME COMPLETELY GONE SO THEY CAN WALK ALL OVER YOU! [No, they want you held accountable for high crimes and misdemeanors, among other things.]

IT'S A WITCH HUNT! IT'S A CON-JOB! [ Note: it takes one to know one.] First, they raided my home [the FBI was acting on a valid search warrant]. Then, they indicted me and TOOK MY MUG SHOT [which you immediately started selling on T-shirts and coffee mugs to anyone with a few bucks to spare]. Now, I'm facing yet ANOTHER Witch Hunt in a New York courtroom. Do you see what they're doing? [Yes, they are trying to hold you accountable for your crimes, as they already have in that particular "witch hunt."] Joe Biden's corrupt cronies are doing EVERYTHING they can to rig the election. [I repeat: "Joe Biden's corrupt cronies" had nothing to do with your having been indicted for wrongdoing by several grand juries.]

I JUST SPENT TWO DAYS IN COURT! [Note: you didn't have to.] This is just DAYS before the New Hampshire primary. THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE IN AMERICAN HISTORY! [and for good reason.] But remember, THEY AREN'T AFTER ME. THEY'RE AFTER YOU. I'M JUST IN THEIR WAY! [Sorry to have to say this, Donald, but they are after you.] If they had their way, they'd lock me up and THROW AWAY THE KEY [again, for good reason] but I know with your support [read: with your last dollar] WE WILL BEAT THEM!

Remember when they said we wouldn't make it this far? [No, actually, I don't.] Remember when they said we were FINISHED? [ditto] Well, tonight I can tell you we WON our first race of 2024, and it's all because of the support [read: CASH] from patriots like YOU! TONIGHT IS YOUR VICTORY!

A NEW YORK JUDGE THREATENED TO THROW ME OUT OF COURT! [because you wouldn't stop talking during a hearing]. ELECTION INTERFERENCE! They want to bully me, harass me, and intimidate me into giving up. BUT BECAUSE OF YOUR SUPPORT [PLEASE send money NOW], MY FIGHT TO SAVE AMERICA WILL NEVER END! [even if I have to pursue it from behind prison bars].

Friend, after our historic win in Iowa [in which you historically under-performed], Crooked Joe Biden spit in the face of EVERY American who has proudly voted for TRUMP. [that's a lot of saliva] THAT MEANS YOU! He said you're extreme. He demonized our Patriotic Movement to MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN! But worst of all? His corrupt cronies are trying to RIG the election with endless WITCH HUNTS! [and should he succeed, you can bet I'll be screaming from the rooftops that the election was "rigged," as I did four years ago).

Joe Biden's corrupt Attorney General, Merrick Garland [and the proof of his corruption is...?], just went on the record and says he wants a "speedy" trial [to which everyone is entitled, and which you have done everything in your power to delay]. He wants it RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF AN ELECTION! [actually, in the middle of a campaign for election]. ELECTION INTERFERENCE! They think they can bully me, intimidate me, and force me OUT of this election. BUT BECAUSE OF YOUR SUPPORT [please, I'm begging you; send money NOW), MY FIGHT TO SAVE AMERICA WILL NEVER END! [well, not until I declare myself a dictator on Day 1).

As noted, these are some of the arguments Trump's "patriots" are reading at the MAGA web site, and they are presented here as a public service. There's no need to fact-check, as everything Trump writes [or, more accurately, has written for him] is a lie—aside from the fact that he did spend two days in a New York courtroom [which he didn't have to], listening to arguments about the amount of money he'll have to pay E Jean Carroll for defamation after he kept calling her a liar following his conviction for sexually assaulting her more than thirty years ago. In other words, your typical "witch hunt."

And finally...

Some good news to help wash away the MAGA stain:

Atlanta's Spelman College has received a $100 million donation, the largest ever given to an historically black college or university, from billionaire Ronda Stryker and her husband, William Johnston. She is the granddaughter of the founder of the medical device maker Stryker Corp, he the chairman of the money management firm Greenleaf Trust.

Spelman says it will use $75 million of the money to endow scholarships, the rest for other purposes. Whatever the purpose, score one for higher education, thanks to the generosity and good will of Ronda Stryker and William Johnston who deserve a hearty round of applause for putting some of their billions to good use.

February 1, 2024

Are you as sick and tired as I am of the seemingly endless waves of campaigns and caucuses, rallies and road signs, primaries and predictions that lead to elections in the US, presidential or otherwise? If the trend continues, it shouldn't be long before swearing-in ceremonies sound like this:

"And do you solemnly swear that you will start running for office again as soon as this oath has been taken..."

Since the US Supreme Court opened the floodgates with the infamous Citizens United decision, which decreed that corporations are somehow "people" whose voting rights are the same as yours and mine (only more so), traditional campaigns have given way to an insatiable need to raise money. That is because the larger one's coffers, the better his or her chances of being elected. It's a good deal for super PACs and other fund-raising ventures, not so good for an electorate whose choices are too often determined not by competence or integrity but by who has outraised—and outspent—his or her opponent.

In case you hadn't noticed, former president Donald ("I don't know that woman!") Trump has been running hard—not so much on the campaign trail as in various courtrooms, doing whatever he can to stay one step ahead of the law and avoid a possible prison sentence. So far, his losses have only been financial—$88+ million and counting (but not counting legal fees). The criminal trials will come later (hopefully, more sooner than later). Trump hopes to delay those trials—in which he faces a total of ninety-one felony counts—until after the November '24 election, wherein American voters, he presumes, will re-elect him president. After which, poof!—those trials and charges would disappear, as would our American democracy.

While he was in New York City last week, Trump stopped at a nearby coffee shop to chat with his former lead attorney, Rudy Giuliani, who is now working behind the counter.

"Hi, Rudy. How's America's favorite waiter?"

"Not bad, Mr president. I kinda like the job. But I had no idea how many hours I'd have to work to pay a $143 million fine. How about you?"

"Oh, I'm doing okay. But I'd forgotten how cold it is in New York. I've been freezing my assets off..."

"Yeah, I heard you got smoked by that E Jean..."

"Don't ever mention that name, Rudy. I told you, I never met the woman..."

"You never told ME that!"

"Well, you were my lawyer; I thought it would be best to tell you the truth. But speaking of lawsuits, I heard you came up short in the Freeman/Moss case—even though you did absolutely nothing wrong..."

"Yeah, it's a bit of a drag. These juries in New York—which I used to love when they were on my side—have sold out to the Far Left. I only hope the court doesn't garnish my wages..."

"That would be contemptible. "

"Well, it is what it is. Tell me, how are things on the trail?"

"Pretty good, actually. As you know, we won Iowa and New Hampshire—in a landslide!—and now we just have to get rid of nasty Nikki Haley—one of the dumbest women I've ever..."

"But sir, you named her your UN ambassador..."

"Well, she was a lot smarter then. Much too smart to run against America's favorite president...And she could have settled that slight disagreement at the Capitol on January 6 if she'd used the troops she was offered..."

"Haley aside, Mr president, it looks like you may be getting even more flak from Taylor Swift."

"Yeah, that ugly, talentless bimbo. I don't know what anyone sees in her. No wonder she's only able to date a football player. Because of her I can't even watch the Super Bowl, knowing how it's been rigged..."

"The Super Bowl? Rigged? No way! How did you find that out?"

"It's all over social media, Rudy. Totally, absolutely rigged. No doubt about it. I learned about it from a very reliable source...Q something-or-other. Biden and Obama are definitely behind it..."

"So you think they paid the Baltimore Ravens to throw a game so Kansas City could go to the Super Bowl?"

"Yes, and without anyone even knowing about it. That's the most amazing part. And that's been the plan since Day 1..."

"But doesn't that mean KC's playoff games against Miami and Pittsburgh were rigged too? The Chiefs had to win those games before they could play Baltimore..."

"I know it may sound crazy, but the evidence is overwhelming—namely, that the Chiefs won all those games. Trust me, there is absolutely no end to what the Deep State is capable of. Three rigged playoff games, and then a bogus Super Bowl...all so that Sleazy Swift can endorse Biden at halftime. And you thought Freeman and Moss were crooked!"

"I never really thought that, Mr president...I was only following orders..."

"And remember, you never got those orders from me!"

"I understand, sir. And I'll keep saying they're guilty, no matter how much it costs me."

"Good man, Rudy. So tell me, with the new job and all, where are you living these days?"

"Thanks for asking, sir. As a matter of fact, I've been staying at the Sheraton..."

"Oh, that's nice. Great hotel, the Sheraton."

"Well, I'm not actually in the hotel proper...but my digs are quite nice if you pull a box over your head and ignore the rats and other—pardon the expression—vermin."

"Well, I know things have been a bit hard for you lately—and trust me, I'd love to help you out, but I've got troubles of my own. Crooked Joe Biden has already bribed a couple of juries to convict an innocent man, and if that racist DA, Tish James, has her way I may be out another $300 million or so..."

"That's all right, Mr president. You don't owe me a thing...unless, that is, we count the lawyer's fees you somehow forgot to pay me..."

"A mere clerical error, Rudy. Believe me, the money is on its way, and will reach you faster than you can say 'America's favorite waiter...'"

"That's reassuring, sir. And after you're re-elected, everything should be smooth sailing."

"Yes...and I'll get my classified documents back too. I miss reading them in the bathroom...had to subscribe to Reader's Digest..."

"Well, you can't have everything, Mr president...although heaven knows you're trying. Now, would you like cream and sugar with that?"

February 6, 2024

According to recent polls—which, taken together, are worth their weight in horse manure—the 2024 presidential race between Joe Biden and Donald Trump is a dead heat and could go either way. If that is true—a very big "if"—there must be a reason beyond mere "R's" and "D's." Yes, the country is certainly polarized; assuming, however, that the nominees are the incumbent, Biden, and the former president, Trump—and there is no reason to doubt that—they do offer voters a clear choice. To determine what that choice may be, it is time, as late-night TV host Seth Meyers would say, for a closer look.

Perhaps the best way to take that look would be to compare side-by-side Biden's and Trump's records while in office. Of course, that would mean measuring Biden's roughly three years as president to Trump's four, but that's the most meaningful choice we have. So here goes:

BIDEN pushed through Congress a $1.2 trillion bipartisan infrastructure package to increase investment in our national network of bridges and roads, airports, public transportation and broadband Internet, as well as waterways and energy systems.

TRUMP declared almost every week he was in office "infrastructure week" without developing any plan to follow up on that promise. He did sign legislation making CDB and hemp legal, as part of the 2018 farm bill.

BIDEN, through the American Rescue Plan, helped provide more than 500 million free life-saving Covid-19 vaccinations to Americans.

TRUMP suggested injecting bleach into one's veins, ingesting the malaria medicine hydroxychloroquine or using the untested parasite drug ivermectin as "cures" for Covid-19.

BIDEN addressed gun violence by signing the bipartisan Safer Communities Act, creating enhanced background checks, closing the "boyfriend" loophole and providing funds for mental health facilities for young people.

TRUMP signed a bill that requires airports to provide spaces for breast-feeding mothers.

BIDEN made a $369 billion investment in climate change, the largest in American history, through the Inflation Reduction Act of 2022.

TRUMP finalized the creation of Space Force as our sixth military branch.

BIDEN recommitted America to the fight against climate change and global warming by rejoining the Paris Climate Accord.

TRUMP withdrew the US from the Paris Accord, arguing that it was killing American jobs, and did everything he could to weaken and muzzle the Environmental Protection Agency.

BIDEN cut child poverty in half through the American Rescue Plan.

TRUMP signed welfare reform requiring able-bodied adults who don't have children to work or look for work if they are on welfare, removing Medicaid coverage from those who didn't qualify under the new law.

BIDEN reauthorized the Violence Against Women Act through 2027.

TRUMP nominated three Supreme Court justices who helped overturn Roe v Wade—then bragged about it—while ordering a halt to US money flagged for international organizations that fund or perform abortions.

BIDEN provided $10,000 to $20,000 in debt relief to Americans with student loans who make less than $125,000 a year.

TRUMP signed the largest wilderness protection and conservation bill in a decade (true) and designated 375,000 acres as protected land. Meanwhile, he removed some two million protected acres in Utah, part of the Bear Ears National Monument, among other things. According to a study published in May 2019 in Science magazine, Trump was responsible for the largest reduction in boundaries of protected land in US history.

BIDEN capped prescription drug prices at $2,000 per year for seniors on Medicare, gave Medicare the power to negotiate prescription drug prices, and reduced health-care premiums by $800 a year, all through the Inflation Reduction Act.

TRUMP signed a bill allowing some drug imports from Canada so that prescription prices would go down.

BIDEN imposed a 15 percent minimum tax on some of the country's largest corporations, ensuring that they pay their fair share, as part of the Inflation Reduction Act.

TRUMP approved a tax package that helped US billionaires to pay a lower tax rate than the working class for the first time in history. Under the new law, the top 0.1 percent of US households were granted a 2.5 percent tax cut that pushed their annual rate below that of the lower 50 percent of US taxpayers.

BIDEN increased the budget of the Internal Revenue Service by nearly $80 billion to reduce tax evasion and increase government revenue.

TRUMP secured billions of dollars to help build a wall at our southern border—a wall he had promised in 2016 that Mexico would pay for.

BIDEN helped achieve historically low unemployment rates after the Covid pandemic caused them to skyrocket, all while approving policies that lowered the inflation rate to a manageable 3.2 percent.

TRUMP said—falsely—that under his administration, the nation's unemployment rate was "the lowest ever recorded." What he meant to say was "the lowest since the 1950s."

BIDEN created more jobs in one year (6.6 million) than any president in American history.

TRUMP said he created more than 7.7 million jobs in the four years since he was elected, but the number of jobs had been growing annually since 2010, and in fact gained more jobs—about 8 million—between 2014 and 2017, the last years of the Obama administration. Once the pandemic arrived, between 10 million and 20 million jobs were lost.

BIDEN signed the CHIPS and Science Act to strengthen American manufacturing and innovation.

TRUMP created more than 400,000 manufacturing jobs, but as a result of the pandemic, about 200,000 of them were lost. During the Obama administration (2010-16), more than 900,000 manufacturing jobs were created.

BIDEN—in spite of what Republicans allege—has overseen a crime-free and scandal-free administration.

TRUMP was impeached (and acquitted) twice; the first for an ill-advised phone call trying to smear Biden, the second for inciting an insurrection designed to overturn the lawful transfer of power and keep him in office for another four years.

BIDEN has promised when re-elected to "finish the job" he has started on behalf of the American people.

TRUMP has promised when re-elected to become a dictator, "but only on Day One!"

BIDEN has been endorsed this year by leading trade unions including the United Auto Workers.

TRUMP has been endorsed by the Proud Boys, the National Socialist Union, the Oath Keepers, the Three Percenters, the Patriot Front, Moms for Liberty, Q-Anon and almost every conspiracy theorist on the planet.

No wonder the race is so damn close! Their records are almost identical!

Since leaving office, Trump has encountered a few problems that would have sunk any other campaign beneath cascading waves of duplicity and disgrace.

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