Home » Jazz Articles » Mr. P.C.'s Guide to Jazz Etiquette and Bandstand Decorum » Disgruntled Masters

5

Disgruntled Masters

Disgruntled Masters
By

View read count
Dear Mr. P.C.:

Is it okay to grunt or hum while playing the piano? I'm looking for a career in jazz but don't have any musical talent, but I'm pretty sure I could figure out a way to remaster the great tunes from the likes of Oscar and Erroll to exclude the annoying 'hum' from their recordings. 

—Peter from Poughkeepsie


Dear Peter:

What few people realize about grunters like Oscar and Erroll is that they always made those sounds, whether at or away from the piano. As a result they weren't allowed in libraries, churches or movie theaters. They were often kicked out of high-end restaurants, where half-eaten food would produce sputtering rhythms, and wine would be swallowed with a medicinal gargle. When they slept, snoring coupled with their grunts to produce nightmarish dissonance, banishing them to the living room couch.

But their most embarrassing moments of all came in public restrooms, where defecators in adjacent stalls would grimace in sympathy. While their managers made sure their riders demanded roughage in the green room, they never developed the taste, being more "meat and potatoes" style players.

Keith Jarrett also makes his noises whether seated at the piano or wandering free outside the concert hall. But he draws from a broader palette of body sounds, in keeping with his more modern and stylistically diverse sensibility. Like Oscar and Erroll, he's banned from libraries and churches, but unlike them he's welcome in certain movie theaters—specifically pornographic ones.

Have a question for Mr. P.C.? Ask him.

Tags

Comments


PREVIOUS / NEXT




Support All About Jazz

Get the Jazz Near You newsletter All About Jazz has been a pillar of jazz since 1995, championing it as an art form and, more importantly, supporting the musicians who make it. Our enduring commitment has made "AAJ" one of the most culturally important websites of its kind, read by hundreds of thousands of fans, musicians and industry figures every month.

Go Ad Free!

To maintain our platform while developing new means to foster jazz discovery and connectivity, we need your help. You can become a sustaining member for as little as $20 and in return, we'll immediately hide those pesky ads plus provide access to future articles for a full year. This winning combination vastly improves your AAJ experience and allow us to vigorously build on the pioneering work we first started in 1995. So enjoy an ad-free AAJ experience and help us remain a positive beacon for jazz by making a donation today.

More

Jazz article: Melisma, AI, and the Bivalve Mollusk
Mr. P.C.'s Guide to Jazz Etiquette and Bandstand Decorum
Melisma, AI, and the Bivalve Mollusk
Jazz article: Handpicking, Homicide, and Healing
Mr. P.C.'s Guide to Jazz Etiquette and Bandstand Decorum
Handpicking, Homicide, and Healing
Jazz article: Hold Music, Chord Changes, and Undisclosed Recipients
Mr. P.C.'s Guide to Jazz Etiquette and Bandstand Decorum
Hold Music, Chord Changes, and Undisclosed Recipients
Jazz article: Let's Give the Singer Some!
Mr. P.C.'s Guide to Jazz Etiquette and Bandstand Decorum
Let's Give the Singer Some!

Popular

Read Take Five with Pianist Irving Flores
Read Jazz em Agosto 2025
Read Bob Schlesinger at Dazzle
Read SFJAZZ Spring Concerts
Read Sunday Best: A Netflix Documentary
Read Vivian Buczek at Ladies' Jazz Festival

Get more of a good thing!

Our weekly newsletter highlights our top stories, our special offers, and upcoming jazz events near you.

Install All About Jazz

iOS Instructions:

To install this app, follow these steps:

All About Jazz would like to send you notifications

Notifications include timely alerts to content of interest, such as articles, reviews, new features, and more. These can be configured in Settings.