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Article: Mr. P.C.'s Guide to Jazz Etiquette and Bandstand Decorum

Sneezing, Spouses and Singers

Read "Sneezing, Spouses and Singers" reviewed by Mr. P.C.


Dear Mr. P.C.: I'm playing solo piano at an old folks home. Suddenly I feel an explosive sneeze coming on, and I can tell it's going to be “productive." I don't want to be responsible for infecting the vulnerable elderly. Where am I supposed to point my problematic proboscis? Do my hands get involved? ...

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Article: Mr. P.C.'s Guide to Jazz Etiquette and Bandstand Decorum

De Bass

Read "De Bass" reviewed by Mr. P.C.


Dear Mr. P.C.: When a pianist and bassist argue over chord changes, who's usually right? --Believing Either Bass Or Piano Dear BEBOP: Does it matter? It's purely ritualistic behavior, as inborn and inescapable as bucks tangling antlers in the spring. But the feuding still establishes dominance, ...

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Article: Mr. P.C.'s Guide to Jazz Etiquette and Bandstand Decorum

Disgruntled Masters

Read "Disgruntled Masters" reviewed by Mr. P.C.


Dear Mr. P.C.: Is it okay to grunt or hum while playing the piano? I'm looking for a career in jazz but don't have any musical talent, but I'm pretty sure I could figure out a way to remaster the great tunes from the likes of Oscar and Erroll to exclude the annoying 'hum' ...

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Article: Mr. P.C.'s Guide to Jazz Etiquette and Bandstand Decorum

Bits and Bytes

Read "Bits and Bytes" reviewed by Mr. P.C.


Dear Mr. P.C.: On the bandstand, in the middle of a tune, is it okay to move your lips while you're counting? —Patient Percussionist Dear PP: Of course--if you don't, you'll sound really strange. Dear Mr. P.C.: I saw someone post on Facebook, just ...

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Article: Mr. P.C.'s Guide to Jazz Etiquette and Bandstand Decorum

Faking Bad

Read "Faking Bad" reviewed by Mr. P.C.


Dear Mr. P.C.: I'm in a band with a bassist who wants to rehearse every week. Considering that all we do when we have a gig is fake standards, isn't he being a little OCD? —Kevin A., Raleigh Dear Kevin: The hardest thing about faking standards is that ...

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Article: Mr. P.C.'s Guide to Jazz Etiquette and Bandstand Decorum

Ouch!

Read "Ouch!" reviewed by Mr. P.C.


Dear Mr. P.C.: Should jazz musicians marry one another? --J.S. Dear JS: Here's something that may surprise you: Tone deafness is a dominant gene, which means the ability to carry a tune is recessive. Since most jazz artists—when forced to—can carry a tune, the ability to play jazz ...

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Article: Mr. P.C.'s Guide to Jazz Etiquette and Bandstand Decorum

Ba-dum-tss!

Read "Ba-dum-tss!" reviewed by Mr. P.C.


Dear Mr. P.C.: What is it with young horn players at jam sessions who take their solo on a song and don't even hang around to play the head out? --C.S. Dear C.S.: The youngsters are looking to you for guidance. If you yell “head out," what do ...

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Article: Mr. P.C.'s Guide to Jazz Etiquette and Bandstand Decorum

Sucking While Blowing, Door Gig Blues

Read "Sucking While Blowing, Door Gig Blues" reviewed by Mr. P.C.


Sucking While Blowing Dear Mr. P.C.: Semantic inquiry: When someone has a ton of chops and still utterly sucks to play with, would his or her chops/suck ratio be convergent or divergent? --Getting Older And Testier, Gaming Out Tactics To Enervate Neophytes Dear GOAT GOTTEN: To answer your ...

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Article: Mr. P.C.'s Guide to Jazz Etiquette and Bandstand Decorum

Drum and Drummer 2

Read "Drum and Drummer 2" reviewed by Mr. P.C.


Dear Mr. P.C.: If I can tell where a drummer is during his whole solo, does that mean he's good or bad? --Confused Bassist   Dear Confused: Neither: it just means you're listening too closely. There's nothing inherently “wrong" with paying attention to the musicians around you, but ...

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Article: Mr. P.C.'s Guide to Jazz Etiquette and Bandstand Decorum

Old Folks, Countdown

Read "Old Folks, Countdown" reviewed by Mr. P.C.


Old Folks Dear Mr. P.C.: When people in the audience are talking, it goes without saying they're not listening to the band. But for the rest of the audience, how do you know when they're actually listening as opposed to just thinking about something else altogether? --Unheard in Utah Dear ...


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