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Prelude
by Jeff Fitzgerald, Genius
If you know anything about me at all, you know that I love jazz. And the company of willowy redheads of questionable repute, but that is neither here nor there and I'll thank you to mind your own damned business (unless, of course, you are a willowy redhead of questionable repute, in which case you may ...
The Blues: Black Twice
by Jeff Fitzgerald, Genius
“If you’re white and play the blues, you’re black once. If you’re black and play the blues, you’re black twice.” --B.B. King Upon arriving at the Geniusdome by funicular, after the customary delousing and body cavity search, you’d be welcomed into the anteroom for a cocktail, conversation, and more delousing. “Louse-free since ‘03” is more than ...
The Blues: Black Once
by Jeff Fitzgerald, Genius
One steamy summer night in 1930 outside of Clarksdale, Mississippi, a young man with a guitar stands at the intersections of highways 49 and 61 at midnight. He waits for a while, then a long black car pulls up. The driver is a dark man with soulless eyes and a terrible, snarling grin. The young man ...
Looking for Answers
by Jeff Fitzgerald, Genius
Well, kids, how did you do with last month's quiz ? I received quite a bit of feedback, containing plenty of hard K sounds, so I take it that the quiz was sufficiently challenging to test even the most seasoned jazz fan (available from AAJ's online store, Jazz Fan Seasoning comes in roasted garlic, Jamaican jerk, ...
Test Your Jazz IQ
by Jeff Fitzgerald, Genius
Jazz is said to have originated in New Orleans because: A polygenious mélange of influences combined in the unique multi-ethnic environment to form the foundations of the music that would later come to be known as jazz. Louis Armstrong was born there and everyone likes Louis, don’t they? Don’t they? The aliens who built the pyramids ...
How to Make Jazz Appeal to the MTV Generation
by Jeff Fitzgerald, Genius
I’ve been giving a lot of thought to the concept of making jazz appeal to the MTV generation, which pretty much explains the title of the article. Consider that my experience with MTV pretty much ends on that fateful day in 1986 when, as a cooler-than-that college student, I turned on the TV and suddenly realized ...
Giving You the Bird
by Jeff Fitzgerald, Genius
Chicago has made some very, very important contributions to society. The City of Big Shoulders has given us deep dish pizza, economy-sized gangland slayings, the Sears catalog, a baseball club for masochists, and those nifty Italian steak sandwiches that are dipped completely in the beef juices before serving and why these things aren’t a ...
Dr. Strangehead, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Ken Burns
by Jeff Fitzgerald, Genius
Properly, the Roundheads were supporters of Parliament during the English civil war. They were opposed by loyalists to King Charles I, known as Cavaliers. I was a supporter of Parliament right up until Bootsy Collins left the group, but as a native Virginian, I am also inclined to support the Cavaliers. Never mind that I live ...
Genius '04
by Jeff Fitzgerald, Genius
Well, kids, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately and I’ve decided that what this country needs is a return to the ideals and values of another age, followed by a couple of hotdogs and a twi-night doubleheader. I know we’ve discussed this matter before in the late and hardly lamented Modern Bachelor bits from ...
Genius Guide F.A.Q.
by Jeff Fitzgerald, Genius
Q. Where does Jeff Fitzgerald get off calling himself a Genius?A. As you know, Jeff won the title Genius by knocking out Albert Einstein at Madison Square Garden in April 1987. He has since defended the title 12 times, most recently against documentary filmmaker and freelance loudmouth Michael Moore. Jeff put Moore on the ...
