Musicians Guide to Making Small Talk

It's the junk food of conversation: quick, sugary, sickening in excess—and unavoidable. Thomas Farley, editor of etiquette guide Modern Manners, has these tips.
Contents
1 Initiate
2 Think ahead
3 Three topics max
4 Close out

Initiate

Open with a wry observation phrased as a question: “Do these parties usually end in brawls? 'Cause I'm a little out of shape ..."

Of course, humor can be dicey. Not everyone is funny and quite a few people who think they are funny really aren't. If a person is quick witted and has a wry sense of humor they likely don't need advice on how to make small talk. Therefore, if you are reading this with an eye to helping out your social skills it might be a good idea to steer clear of humor. It may be better to start with a question that allows the person to talk about themselves. These question should be context dependent, at a party you may want to ask “How do you know the hosts?" At a conference you may want to start with “What are you working on?" Allow the person to speak and try to pick up on anything which can help you formulate new questions to keep the conversation going. Remember, most people's favorite subject is themselves. If you give them the opportunity to speak and let them know you are listening you'll make a favorable impression.

Think ahead

As you listen to the reply, prep your next move. Aim for 15-second bursts that segue into further questions.

Keep an eye out for subjects that let them tell you more about themselves. Also, be sure to remember that this isn't a competition. You do not have to try and top their stories with fantastic tales of your own. Especially ones which can lead to a cycle of one-upmanship. The goal of small talk isn't to prove to the other person how exciting and interesting you are.
The goal is to make a good impression.

Three topics max

Movies, travel, and fiction are safe bets but don't force the conversation into these areas if its not a natural fit. Be aware of what the other person is saying. Build your responses off of that. Do try to keep clear of controversial issues. While you may have been told religion and politics are always off limits it really depends on the context. For example, talking about politics is fine at an election event. Whatever subject you do end up discussing you want to make sure that you aren't being aggressive about it. If you are discussing a movie don't say that you thought it “was the worst thing to happen to cinema since the release of Lake Placid 2" simply say “I didn't really enjoy it all that much".

Close out

When its time to end the conversation simply say that you need to keep mingling, need to talk to the host, or some other excuse. Tell them that you really enjoyed talking to them (even if you didn't) and that you hope to talk to them again very soon (even if its the last thing you want).