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"Confessions of an Esoteric Blogger"

By Steve Provizer

Attend the fate of Mad Sweeney, as delineated by author Flann O'Brien in “At-Swim-Two-Birds:"

“Neck high sticks he must pass by leaping.
Knee high sticks by bending."

There are those who say that I apply that injunction to my unwitting readership. And, though it be mercantile suicide and savagely highfallutin,' that may be so. Scores plead that I lower my stringent standards in order to lure the elusive “crossover" audience ("Just one click can lead to instant wealth"), but this boy cannot be bought.*

In an effort to further muddy the waters, I present my current posting guidelines:
  • First names will be used at the whim of the Author. A full name such as 'Charlie Parker' may be used to differentiate from, for example, Leo or Maceo. However, if the Author believes the Reader should be able to tell which Parker it is by context, the nickname “Bird" will be used. For example: “While relaxing at Camarillo, Bird took up the practice of origami, etc..."
  • The primacy of blown instruments over electronic ones will be continually touted. Ditto, wax and vinyl (pops and scratches) over other audio media (the hidden logarithmic theft of an mp3 file).
  • The Author will continue to utilize technical musical terms (c.f. the “turnaround") and provide oversimplified explanations of same ("a way to get back to the beginning").
  • All trends, fads, waves of fashion and transient cultural phenomena will continue to be disparaged (The double-cup mouthpiece is still under investigation).
  • Inre the Savory recordings: No Mas (unless my friend Jonathan invites me to a private listening session).
  • The use of “Part One" to describe any piece analyzing a facet of jazz history (say, 'sweet,' vs 'hot') should be seen as a 1-dimensional oscillating line (i.e. local manifestation of “string theory") and therefore not implying Parts 2, 3, etc..


All this science and self-analysis has worn me out. Readers are invited to engage in the infamous interactive potential of Web 2 (or 3 or whatever it is now) and suggest other criteria. We aim to please.

*Write c/o this blog for hourly Provizer rental fees.

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