262

Return of the Revenge of the Son of the Genius Guide to Jazz

Jeff Fitzgerald, Genius By

Sign in to view read count
I was sitting around the 'Dome the other day, thumbing through my Peterson Field Guide to North American Marsalises (because you never know when one might be called upon to differentiate the Mocha-Crested Branford from the Roundheaded Wynton) when it suddenly occurred to me that I hadn't had a decent death threat this year. As a polarizing figure in the jazz world, I've been accustomed to getting death threats every morning with breakfast (though, that did subside somewhat when I stopped eating Alphabits cereal).

I immediately surmised that there could only be two reasons why the tide of animosity had seemingly stopped. First, country legend Buck Owens had shuffled off this mortal coil. Or second, my iconoclastic humor was no longer rousing the ire of the kind of jazz fan who has a top five list of favorite Svend Asmussen solos.

A quick check of Wikipedia informed me that not only was Buck Owens deceased, but that he had also invented the Internet and was responsible for modernizing rice production in Ghana. But he passed away in March of 2006, at which time I was still receiving Whitman's Samplers filled with C4 from "a friend." That must mean that my AAJ missives were no longer getting under the skin of death-grip jazz zealots the world over.

Checking AAJ, I was stunned to find that my work had not appeared on the site since 2006. Concerned, I checked my computer and found that my trusty ColumnMaster ©® software, which I'd purchased to churn out my monthly gems and free me up to pursue my twin passions of drinking and baseball, hadn't been functioning properly for months. It seems it had gotten locked up trying to execute a particularly complex Jimmy "J.J." Walker-Nobel Prize gag, missing the obvious "dyn-o-mite" reference. Moving forward.

After all these months away from my post, I figured it might be a good idea to ease back into things rather than trying to resume at the highest level of my creative abilities. Much like a baseball player coming back from an injury getting a couple of rehab starts in the minors, I don't want to risk trying to do too much too soon and end up on the DL. Look what happened to Ring Lardner, who came back too soon from a serious case of writer's cramp and ended up dead at 48 from tuberculosis.

So then.

Coming up in the new year will be a complete return to form for Your Own Personal Genius. There'll be a profile of Keith Moon, a listening guide for the JazzNoob, and the long-awaited Sun Ra piece. Plus, my unique blend of nonsense, tomfoolery, and just plain bullsh*t.

Till next month, kids, exit to your right and enjoy the rest of AAJ.

Tags

comments powered by Disqus

More Articles

Read Jazz Lovers Series: Hugh Hefner Genius Guide to Jazz Jazz Lovers Series: Hugh Hefner
by Jeff Fitzgerald, Genius
Published: September 28, 2017
Read How the Other Half Swings Genius Guide to Jazz How the Other Half Swings
by Jeff Fitzgerald, Genius
Published: July 6, 2017
Read Trumpet From On High Genius Guide to Jazz Trumpet From On High
by Jeff Fitzgerald, Genius
Published: May 4, 2017
Read Cloudland Re-Revisited: Think of One Genius Guide to Jazz Cloudland Re-Revisited: Think of One
by Jeff Fitzgerald, Genius
Published: April 7, 2017
Read Take Me Out to the Ballgame Genius Guide to Jazz Take Me Out to the Ballgame
by Jeff Fitzgerald, Genius
Published: March 17, 2017
Read Making A Jazz Blockbuster Genius Guide to Jazz Making A Jazz Blockbuster
by Jeff Fitzgerald, Genius
Published: June 21, 2016
Read "Jazz Lovers Series: Hugh Hefner" Genius Guide to Jazz Jazz Lovers Series: Hugh Hefner
by Jeff Fitzgerald, Genius
Published: September 28, 2017
Read "Trumpet From On High" Genius Guide to Jazz Trumpet From On High
by Jeff Fitzgerald, Genius
Published: May 4, 2017
Read "How the Other Half Swings" Genius Guide to Jazz How the Other Half Swings
by Jeff Fitzgerald, Genius
Published: July 6, 2017
Read "Cloudland Re-Revisited: Think of One" Genius Guide to Jazz Cloudland Re-Revisited: Think of One
by Jeff Fitzgerald, Genius
Published: April 7, 2017
Read "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" Genius Guide to Jazz Take Me Out to the Ballgame
by Jeff Fitzgerald, Genius
Published: March 17, 2017
Read "The Pianist as Director: Ryuichi Sakamoto and August Rosenbaum" Multiple Reviews The Pianist as Director: Ryuichi Sakamoto and August...
by Jakob Baekgaard
Published: October 13, 2017
Read "Bob Niederitter Trio At The Bop Stop" Live Reviews Bob Niederitter Trio At The Bop Stop
by C. Andrew Hovan
Published: October 9, 2017
Read "Charles Lloyd Quartet at Vicar Street" Live Reviews Charles Lloyd Quartet at Vicar Street
by Ian Patterson
Published: November 28, 2016
Read "Sardinia 2016: Ai Confini tra Sardegna e Jazz" In Pictures Sardinia 2016: Ai Confini tra Sardegna e Jazz
by Frank Rubolino
Published: July 8, 2017

Join the staff. Writers Wanted!

Develop a column, write album reviews, cover live shows, or conduct interviews.