Although exceedingly beautiful now, as a child I was very ugly. "How ugly were
you?" I'm sorry, what was that? "I said 'How ugly were you?'" Oh yes, I see. I was
so ugly that when I was born, the doctor slapped my mother! Hahaha... But
seriously, a f&>king doctor slapped my f@&king mother, man! I shit you not.
She didn't tell me about it until years later, and then what could I do? I don't
know who this f@$king guy is. And at the time, I was, like, 30 seconds old! What
can you do at 30 seconds? You don't know what it's like to lie there, naked and
helpless while some f$@king college boy smacks your mum around