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Jeff Fitzgerald, Genius By

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Well, kids, how did you do with last month's quiz ? I received quite a bit of feedback, containing plenty of hard K sounds, so I take it that the quiz was sufficiently challenging to test even the most seasoned jazz fan (available from AAJ's online store, Jazz Fan Seasoning comes in roasted garlic, Jamaican jerk, and buttermilk ranch).

So without further adieu (I'm almost out of adieu, so I'm saving the last of it for the weekend), here are the answers:

1. '59 Buick Century

2. Katie, later known as Vicky.

3. x=7y(3-6n)+3z

4. Recombinant DNA, with fries and a medium drink.

5. Two Harvey Wallbangers, totaling $7.50

6. His appendix.

7. Admiral William F. "Bull" Halsey, U.S.N. (Ret.)

8. Actress Zooey Deschanel

9. Rahmschnitzel

10. 9.475

11. Blue

12. St. Bartholomew

13. No 13. Bad luck.

14. President William McKinley was assassinated by Leon Czolgosz. It was Leon Spinks who defeated Muhammed Ali in a split decision to win the heavyweight championship in 1978. Leon Redbone doesn't have a damned thing to do with any of it.

15. Partially true, but mostly false. And anyway, what business is it of yours?

16. Diego Maradonna's "Hand of God" goal.

17. Only hams cured in Smithfield, Virginia, by the traditional method, qualify for that honor.

18. Q

19. Eggs

20. Nipsey Russell, Dame Judi Dench, and a couple of margaritas big enough to take a sitzbath in.

For number 6, I would have also accepted Susanna Hoffs of the Bangles, or Lt. Gen. Holland "Howlin' Mad" Smith, U.S.M.C. (Ret.). For number 14, you're thinking of Michael Spinks. For number 20, it was years ago. I was young, and needed the money.

0-5 correct: I can only assume you are an intelligent chicken who has pecked your way to this site by pure random chance.

6-10 correct: You're just getting into jazz, and are learning the ropes. If you need additional help learning the ropes, let us know; perhaps we can pull some strings.

11-15 correct: You've been around jazz for a while, just hanging out, staring at your shoes, hoping she'll notice you.

16-18 correct: On your path to total jazz enlightenment, the only thing keeping you from Nirvana is "getting" Cecil Taylor.

19 correct: You are me. God help you.

Don't forget to submit your questions for next month's column, ? Ask Dr. Genius ,? via the AAJ bulletin board. Everything you ever wanted to know about anything, from your Own Personal Genius. Till next month, kids, exit to your right and enjoy the rest of AAJ.


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