4

Hey, George Frazier--I’m 10 Years Old Over Here

Brian Dunn By

Sign in to view read count
All I'm trying to say, really, is that most boutique customers should be lined up before a firing squad at dawn and that there should be a minute of silence to thank God for the existence of people like Miles Davis: Except, of course, that there are no people like Miles Davis. He is an original. He is a truly well-dressed man. He is the Warlord of the Weejuns.

I've been duped! my ten-year-old brain screamed. This makes no sense! The questions were too wild for me to contemplate: Did he really use the word bastard? Does Miles moonlight as a warlord? Who are the Weejuns, and how do they know this George Frazier guy?

Mr. Frazier plowed ahead in the same vein, waxing philosophical about wearing blue blazers, the proper cut of men suit pants, and the importance of a perfectly-knotted neckerchief. No mention of why Miles chose a Harmon mute for this ballad but not the other. Not a word about why his rhythm sections sounded so vastly different—one steady as a steel-driving man, the other frantic as a frat boy snorting crushed Yellow Jacket energy pills.

First, I was perplexed. Then, I was pissed the likes of which I'd never been before. I sat cross-legged on my bedroom floor and cursed the name George Frazier and all writings that had sprung forth from his depraved mind. I plowed through to the end only to be rewarded with this gem:

When not selecting additions to his wardrobe, Miles is a professional trumpet player. People who know about such things tell me he shows a lot of promise.


Exactly one sentence about Miles' trumpet playing. One sentence! I had no idea why Miles would allow such a travesty to be published with his album. I liberated needle from vinyl, packed the album up, and set it aside. I was confused and hurt. It would be years before I could dig the album out to give it a second listen.

Today, I love the irreverence and swagger of Frazier's words. His approach is akin to David Foster Wallace being sent to the Maine Lobster Festival on Gourmet Magazine's dime and filing his famous Consider the Lobster essay, in which he exhaustively ponders the moral and ethical ramifications of eating the tasty crustaceans. Or Hunter S. Thompson penning a piece on the Kentucky Derby that eviscerates the race's spectators, displaying their inner ugliness for all to see.

Sure, today I love it. But back then, at the tender age of 10, when George Frazier stood arrogantly between me and an insider's glimpse into the enigma that is Miles Davis? I could've strangled him with a robin's egg blue silk neckerchief that paired perfectly with his seersucker suit.

Tags

comments powered by Disqus

More Articles

Read Hey, George Frazier--I’m 10 Years Old Over Here Jazz Humor Hey, George Frazier--I’m 10 Years Old Over Here
by Brian Dunn
Published: September 27, 2015
Read Top Five Funniest People in Jazz Jazz Humor Top Five Funniest People in Jazz
by Michael Ricci
Published: November 27, 2014
Read Rod Stewart: Hot Rod, Jazz God Jazz Humor Rod Stewart: Hot Rod, Jazz God
by Jason West
Published: January 29, 2005
Read BugHouse: Pages 1-5 Jazz Humor BugHouse: Pages 1-5
by AAJ Staff
Published: January 20, 2005
Read Olympic Bastid Records Cuts To The Cheese Jazz Humor Olympic Bastid Records Cuts To The Cheese
by Shawn McGrew
Published: July 23, 2004
Read "Smokin' at The Nash" In Pictures Smokin' at The Nash
by Dave Kaufman
Published: September 10, 2017
Read "Amadou & Mariam At Stern Grove" Live Reviews Amadou & Mariam At Stern Grove
by Walter Atkins
Published: August 27, 2017
Read "San Jose Jazz Summer Fest 2017" In Pictures San Jose Jazz Summer Fest 2017
by Gregory Savage
Published: August 17, 2017
Read "Blues Deluxe: Colin James, Matthew Curry and Johnny Nicholas" Multiple Reviews Blues Deluxe: Colin James, Matthew Curry and Johnny Nicholas
by Doug Collette
Published: January 14, 2017
Read "Tortilla Soup with Tony Lindsay At Yoshi's" Live Reviews Tortilla Soup with Tony Lindsay At Yoshi's
by Walter Atkins
Published: September 26, 2017

Join the staff. Writers Wanted!

Develop a column, write album reviews, cover live shows, or conduct interviews.