Date:	05-Oct-1999 11:31:19
From:	Ken Dryden
	I was at a Joe Pass concert in Atlanta in the late 1980s when feedback suddenly appeared out of nowhere in the monitor about 2 or 3 songs into his solo set. He continued for 30 seconds or so and finally stopped, asking "What the hell's wrong with you guys? You had it perfect during the soundcheck!" (As 800 or so pairs of eyes glared at the unfortunate board operator).

 

Date:	21-Nov-1999 20:23:35
From:	this jazz guy
	Sounds like my church's sound technician!!!! LOL!

 

Date:	21-Nov-1999 21:39:13
From:	susan rosmarin (jazzwife@mindspring.com)
	Yeah, I was at that concert too, Ken, and I remember Joe's remarks!

 

Date:	21-Apr-2000 16:08:34
From:	Eddy
	One time I fronted a band and we played "Rhapsody for Flugal Horn." I walked up to the mike and started blowing air and fingereing the valves of my horn to warm it up. Well, the jack-hole sound-guy thought I was playing and that my mike volume was all the way down, so he cranks it up all the way. A second later I came in strong and the feedback was so bad the entire audience gasped. Needless to say, it threw me off for the rest of the damn piece!

 

Date:	09-Jun-2000 15:58:28
From:	Henry Warden (hcwarde@juno.com)
	I had just got back in town from being in Chile for about 4 years, and wanted to play some. This dude that tried playing tenor sax kept bugging me to perform some, so I agreed to play a couple of gigs at a local club that was just about the only good possibility to work steady in town. He did pretty good at a couple of rehearsals, but the night of the first gig, he brought three cordless mikes, and three horns (alto, tenor, and baritone), set all of his sh-- up and we began. Of course, he couldn't remember what mike level was for what mike, so he kept just about a constant feedback problem all night! Needless to say, the owner didn't want to hear any more of that - no calls for more gigs!

 

Date:	11-Aug-2000 16:47:50
From:	Nancy
	When I was in junior or high school (a long time ago), a group of us formed an all brass band of christmas carols and toured various nursing homes in the community just before christmas. While we were playing in the lobby of one home, which was resonant with linoeum floors and no carpeting or curtains, we heard a faint, frail little voice calling out from one of the bedrooms around the corner "make them stop." Before the gig was over, the paramedics had been called and someone was being gurneyed right past us and out the lobby doors.

 

Date:	04-Dec-2000 04:28:20
From:	Henk Meulstee (lekkerding@aol.com)
	We were playing (nine musicians, and all were miked and line out) at a hotel in Goteborg, Sweden, when after a loud bang our brandnew Bose P.A.system blew up. Sparks and smoke everywhere. Nothing could be done on the spot, so we finished off the gig with my bass amp as p.a. my 12" and 15" bass cabinets as p.a. speakers and the vocal mikes, horns and bass through our makeshift setup. Didn't sound half bad, the owner said: " finally a band that doesn't play so loud". He had no comment on our volume the next night though with a new 1000 watt PA!

 

Date:	11-Dec-2000 07:25:40
From:	Tim Harding
	I was once playing in a big band and half way through our opening number the management switched the lights off so that we could no longer read our music. (They said that they wanted to create a more intimate atmosphere). Needless to say, we had to stop playing. Then the management has the gall to ball us out for not creating a good first impression!

 

Date:	24-Feb-2001 10:31:50
From:	Frances Burton-Shilling
	Our band were playing in this hotel at the Cork Jazz Fest (Ireland). No sign of our drummer, we waited as long as possible before starting the set minus drums. Still no sign of our drummer, the piano player left to locate a drummer - ANY drummer! That left myself, a guitar and dbl bass to hold things together. All things considered, it was going O.K until... the guitarist breaks his g-string !!! As for our drummer,it turned out that he got locked into the hotels drinks store room whislt trying to 'borrow' some of their wine ...

 

Date:	08-Apr-2001 03:55:33
From:	monkaholic (jazzica9@yahoo.com)
	field show competition in a gym. how dumb is that? it was raining, but they didn't want to cancel it. We weren't even judged after all. Our music was good though, even if the flutist playing the bridge of Night in Tunisia couldn't swing.

 

Date:	15-Apr-2001 00:46:24
From:	Charles H. (charlesmjr@yahoo.com)
	OK. heres mine. Last summer I got a call to do a gig on a boat. Not a cruse ship but a paddle boat replica that crusied around a very large lake. This was a wedding rehershal dinner and I knew that there were going to be problems when the father of the bride told us "What ever happens, you will not play the electric slide." With 2 saxes, trumpet, t-bone and rhytym, I didn't see that happening anyway. Well we played mostly jazz versions of some 1960 and 70's pop stuff. After 45 minutes we were stuck on this boat and needed a break. Well we wanted to get something to drink (non-alcholic) so we ventured to the bar. We were then told that the employees were not allowed to eat or dirnk while the boat was moving and we could not leave our assigned area until we got back to dock in two hours. After pleading with the father of the bride, we finally were allowed to buy our water, but still had to stay on the stage, Apperently we couldn't "mingle" or find the bathroom. During the 2nd set, we played 2 tunes, and the groom stoped the band to announce where they were going on the honeymoon. A simple announcement turned in to a 30 minute version of wheel or fortune, where the bide had to guess the letters that spell H-A-W-A-I-I. Then we had half a dozen toast by several members of the bridal party. We were then handed back the stage, played 1 tune and took a break. Because we were not allowed to leave the stage, the 12 year old sister of the bride kept bugging us to play the "Shoop Shoop" song so she could sing it in the next set. Normally we don't do this but this gig was aready strange enough, so the piano player said why not, but we didn't bring the chart for it and the pianist, drummer, and bassist, set down for 10 minutes and worked out it out and then we came back and the 12 year old sister did a not too bad version of the song. We did one more set then the boat pulled into the dock. We started packing up, we then found out why we weren't allowed to move around the boat. On the deck below us they had catered in a full meal including more shrimp than I had ever seen in one place. There was around 200 in the bowl, in addition to Chicken, Ribs, and more deserts than I had ever seen. I guess they figured if the band had stabs at this there would be nothing left for everyone else. The good news is the band was paid $100 more than the price we agreed upon. We imediatly left and found the nearest restroom. Charles

 

Date:	21-Apr-2001 01:19:19
From:	Ooops (esm76@hotmail.com)
	Bass player dilemas! Once did a gig @ a Festival in Racine, WI. the sound Company had huge speaker towers all kinds of monitors, which I thought was going to be benificial but upon looking for the power rack, noticed only one power amp. When I asked where the rest of the power amps were for the towers, they told me that was it, meaning one amp to power the towers and the monitors. So I said "let's just get through this and leave." During sound check the guitar player came up to me and said "your shit, sounds like shit!" I immediately went to my van grabbed my small p.a. that I normally run through and hooked up everything. So far so good. Finished the gig until someone came up to my bass player and compimented his playing and his bass. At that point the bass player was thanking him and this guy told him that he was on after him. Our bass player continued to tell him I hope you don't have to play through that piece of shit. The guy commented "yeah, I really need to upgrade my rig"....Oooops

 

Date:	24-Apr-2001 09:32:38
From:	Ace
	Playing t-sax at a 50th anniversary... the catered food (which we were unfortunate enough to have offered to us) gave about half the people at the party food poisoning. bassist and lead singer had to leave from nausea before the second set finsihed.

 

Date:	29-Jun-2001 21:42:54
From:	Danielle (tubagirl04@spazmail.com)
	It was my freshman year we were competing at a competion at UNO. There were only 5 or 6 people in the audience. I am a trombone player in the jazz band. one of our first trombone players decided to come with a hang over well he got up to do his solo walked behind me and bashed my trombone in my upper teeth. my gums started to gush blood it was nasty. than we got done playing and I started to throw up as we walked off stage from the blood in my mouth.

 

Date:	17-Jul-2001 16:30:11
From:	Paul (Pabella3@aol.com)
	This one happened about 3 weeks ago... Get called to do a wedding because the guy who originally nabbed the gig double booked. They wanted a jazz trio to play during dinner, so we wouldn't need to worry about playing all of the usual wedding stuff, just standards and quiet stuff. The piano player calls the banquet hall the day of the gig to make sure there is a piano that can be used in the room in question. They say yes, no problem. We all get to the gig at roughly the same time to find out that, sure enough, we can't use the piano. Well the piano player lives about 45 minutes from the place in question, so going back home during rush hour a half mile from O'Hare airport is out of the question. We call every music store in a 5 mile radius to locate a piano with absolutely no luck. I finally offer up my Clavinova from home (for those of you that are Clavinova owners, you know that they are not the most portable electric pianos in existance.) So they hop in the truck to go get it while I set up the rest of the gear and field complaints from both sets of parents concerning our lack of a piano. When I tried to explain what happened, the manager of the place walks up behind me and tells them that it's our fault because musicians never get anything right anyway. at this point, I start noticing the wedding party filtering in, in ruffle blue tuxes, chiffon dresses, the whole bit. Before we have even started, most of the guests are drunk or well on their way there. We finally get the piano set up about a half hour late and start playing immediately. Once we were playing, everything went well. But sometimes, getting there is half the battle. Keep Your Ears Open, Paul

 

Date:	22-Aug-2001 22:43:53
From:	Jack Twomey
	One night I was at a well known hotel in NYC to see a friend's big band kick off a regular engagement. Now this was a quiet room, an Italian restaurant off of the lobby. The gig is not going well. Sloppy playing. No one is dancing. A bunch of old fogies from out of town sitting at tables far apart that drift back into the dark. They seemed to be bored, and they also seemed to know that the band could be better- this is New York. The band breaks. They head for the salad bar and the free meal they get with the gig. I'm standing nearby. All night there has been tension between a huge bearded trumpeter of roughly 35, and a tall, thin lead trombonist of 21. When the big one starts to take an unseemly amount of lettuce out of the huge salad bowl for himself, the trombone player says "Why don't you have a little salad?" The big one whips around and angrily pushes his plate, which now contains Russian dressing and tomatoes too, all over the front of the thin one's tuxedo. All Hell breaks loose. Trombone picks up the bowl of lettuce and dumps it over trumpet's head, then they're on the floor wrestling in tossed salad. The old fogies are dropping their jaws and their forks. The manager, who has just opened the place, is furious. My friend the bandleader comes running over towards the action. "Hey!" he yells,"Come on you guys! Knock it off!" He looks at me and points to them and tells me to get them apart. I'm bigger than he is, and not wearing a suit.I look back at him, then at them, and yell exactly the same thing he yelled. "Come on you guys! Knock it off!" They don't even hear me. They're rolling around in four different salad dressings and there is lettuce stuck all over their jackets and hair. A couple of other band members get them apart. They stand, panting, with lettuce, onions, tomatoes and blue cheese dressing dripping from their clothes. They are fired. The old fogies watch them pack up their horns, quietly whispering about what they have seen as they twist their noodles on their forks. I leave soon afterwards. Out on the street the cold winter air hits me. "Man", I thought "I'm glad I don't have to work with these guys to pay my rent."