Suppose for a moment that you (or someone a lot like you, except taller) knew someone who had never heard jazz. Or, more likely, had never really listened to jazz. Everyone has heard jazz, in some form or another, even if it was just background music in a TV commercial and/or porno flick (itÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂs hard to tell one from the other nowadays). And suppose that you, a known jazz aficionado, were to introduce them to this music that we love. Suppose they liked it. Then suppose they were to take their newfound love of jazz and spread it to those they knew who had never heard it. And while weÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂre doing all this supposing, letÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂs suppose one of you were to send me a pizza and some beer (the pizza may be inserted directly into the e-mail, if youÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂre using Outlook 5.0 or later. The beer must be attached as an .ale file). It would make this whole enterprise go a lot more smoothly for all concerned.
What I mean to say is.
I believe that the best way to spread jazz is virally, person to person. I also believe that the designated hitter rule in baseball is the work of the devil, as is MadonnaÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂs film career. And letÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂs not get me started on reality TV. If it takes a roomful of monkeys with a roomful of typewriters to eventually produce Shakespeare, it only takes one monkey with a crayon about twenty minutes to produce Joe Millionaire and thatÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂs including a five minute double-half-decaf lattÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂé break.
But I digress.
We here at AAJ have a very simple mission: to bring jazz to the people and vice versa. That, and to rule the world. The whole world, even the parts no one ever visits except in the name of science. But weÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂll get to that part later. Right now, weÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂre all about that jazz thing. HereÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂs where you come in, Paco (can I call you Paco? Or Debbie?).
You have the chance to help make this world a rounder place in which to live. Simply by referring a friend to AAJ, you can help bring the joy of jazz into the lives of the poor, deluded masses who still think Kenny G is a famous jazz musician and Louis Armstrong was ÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂthat Hello Dolly guy.ÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂ Think of how much better your tragically unhip friends lives will be when the magic of jazz transforms them like some Fairy Godmother into an almost unrecognizable bastion of all that is happening except without all that confusing mouse-pumpkin nonsense and those horribly uncomfortable glass shoes. And think of how happy the jazz musicians will be when all these bright, shining faces come forth in discovery like the promise of a new day.
ItÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂs almost too wonderful to think of, but here we are.
So then, Paco and Debbie, go forth and spread the word about AAJ. If you find that words fail you at this momentous time in history, feel free to use these prepared messages (see right panel) to start bringing your friends to jazz and likewise. Good luck, and godspeed.
~ Jeff Fitzgerald
