Genius Guide to Jazz

April 30 Happy International Jazz Day! To celebrate, we're going to drive our vintage 1979 International Harvester Scout to the International House of Pancakes while listening to Akira Jimbo's “Jimbo Gumbo." Afterwards, we will return to AAJ Headquarters and have some Maxwell House International Coffee. How do you plan on celebrating this global event? April 29 ...

When I am holed up in the 'Dome living the life of a nearly complete recluse (I do occasionally venture out to earn a living, and to buy beer and groceries and then more beer), one of my favorite pastimes is cooking. I first began learning to cook at the age of five, almost forty years ...

If you were one of the many surprised by Esperanza Spalding's upset of teen sensation Justin Bieber for Best New Artist at the most recent Grammy Awards, then you may be missing out on one of the most promising developments in Jazz since the advent of the Flapper. Turns out that modern teenagers, sick of cloying ...

There is an old Indian legend about several blind men examining an elephant. Each examines a different part of the creature and comes to a completely dissimilar conclusion as to what it is. Then the elephant, in a state of musth, stomps the helpless bastards to death to get at a '67 VW Microbus he mistakes ...

Does it seem like a year has passed since last we gathered to celebrate the holidays, kids? It seems like only yesterday we finished the last of the Thanksgiving turkey, finally put away the extra tray tables, and threw away the untouched remains of that horrid green bean casserole that someone always feels compelled to bring ...

Hey kids, remember when the Internet was shiny and new? Back before YouTube and Wikileaks, before Google and Facebook, back when the World Wide Web was only 84% pornography and 16% dancing hamsters? Those were the days, eh, kids? The whole thing seemed filled with such promise of a world where one day, all content would ...

Welcome back, kids. Now that we've gotten over our initial fear of jazz, and of food that can't be ordered from surly teenagers by yelling out of the window of your car, we can now seek out a more thorough overview of Our Music. Don't worry if you still think Thelonious Monk is that funny TV ...

David Gurnitz is excited. The president of the North Jersey Paranormal Association, and an ardent jazz fan, has captured yet another of what he believes to be proof of some of the greatest names in jazz history jamming from the “other side." “Listen," he says, turning on a small digital recorder that had recently spent an ...

For many years, Your Own Personal Genius earned his drinking money by working retail. I've sold computers, appliances, furniture, mattresses, and kitchen cabinets; and in the process, became somewhat of a Grinch when it came to the material aspects of the holidays. Spending 14 hours a day in a store dealing with surly shoppers, an endless ...

After surviving a near-fatal marriage and returning once again to the Original Geniusdome, the site of some of my best work (remember that really funny thing I wrote about jazz that time?), I recently took some time to reflect upon my contributions to Our Music. As the Dean of American Jazz Humorists©®, I have long considered ...

When renowned jazz critic Leonard Feather was asked about this record, he said something favorable. And thus has become the general consensus since its release in late 1959, early 1974, 1989, 1998, and finally in 2004. I'm certain that upon hearing it, you'll feel the same. The fates aligned when this session was recorded. Not only ...

And summing up last month's article on jazz as background music in 70's porno flicks, the tumescent Swede did in fact represent the rise of European influence, particularly in Fusion (as obviated by the mustache), while the naive-but-willing coed represented the collective reception of the American jazz audience. The later addition of the Mexican pool boy ...

The holidays are a special time around the Geniusdome. Luca Brasi, my trusted associate and parakeet, goes all out decorating his cage (featured in this month's Perch Pride magazine). My usual stacks of death threats and hate mail start arriving in festive green and red envelopes. And the ghost of Elvis starts singing actual Christmas songs, ...

“The nine most dangerous words in the English language are, 'I'm from the government and I'm here to help.'" -Ronald Reagan Every four years, one of the most important events in the free world takes place in almost every corner of this great nation. Every American--providing they are over the age of 18, in this country ...