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Jazz Humor

JAZZ HUMOR

Hot Rod Jazz God, Part 2: An Open Letter to Rod Stewart

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Um, Mr. Stewart, if you're reading this, first I want to apologize. In the past I wrote some things that you may have found slightly offensive.Like those bits about harmless Uncle Rod who shows up on holidays with a bottle-shaped microphone and comparing your interpretation of standard jazz melodies to a bull in downtown Pamplona. Sorry, mate. I take it back. I admit I was bitter.Bitter because I'm a jazz musician. And like most jazz musicians, I struggle to make a living playing and singing all those standard jazz songs you've recorded on your Great American ...

JAZZ HUMOR

Motel 5: As For You

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The phone in my office rang twice. I let the machine get it. The voice on the other end sounded desperate. “Hey, West, I need a band to play Bill Gates' house. Rough life, I mused, planning private parties for billionaires. Imagine all the stress involved in picking out the hippest flower arrangements, trendiest color schemes, fanciest hors d'oeurves, and ice sculptures shaped like a school of humpbacked whales in full breach. All on an unlimited budget. Something tugged me out of my reverie. It was the desperate voice of my party planner friend ...

JAZZ HUMOR

Sinatra Slang

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Based on The Frank Sinatra Scrapbook by Richard Peters (1982) with additions from Sinatra fans on the internet.

18 KARAT All the way, full-out: “An 18 karat idiot." BABY Used as an exclamation as well as a term of endearment. BAG As in “my bag," a person's particular interest. BARN BURNER A very stylish, classy woman. BEARD A male friend who acts as a 'cover', usually for extramarital affairs. BEETLE A girl who dresses in flashy clothes.

JAZZ HUMOR

Paul Desmond-isms

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Alto saxophonist Paul Desmond worked with pianist Dave Brubeck for 18 years. He's best known for his composition “Take Five," which helped make Brubeck's record Time Out a mega-hit. Desmond's saxophone playing was always marked by an unusual fluidity and warmth. Through a number of solo records, he expanded on a relaxed but sophisticated sound.

Who would have guessed that Paul Desmond had a wickedly acerbic wit, ironic and self-deprecating at the same time?

“I have won several prizes as the world's slowest alto player, as well as a special award in 1961 for quietness."

“I ...

JAZZ HUMOR

Rod Stewart: Hot Rod, Jazz God

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That smirk. That roguish, self-satisfied, da-ya-think-I'm-sexy smirk. It's back and getting bigger everywhere you look. On Leno. On Letterman. In fashion magazines. Holiday TV specials. What's next--a Super Bowl halftime smirkfest?2000 should have been the end of The Smirk. His rock star career, which started in swingin' London during the late 1960s and peaked artistically in 1971 with Every Picture Tells A Story, skyrocketed with the disco craze. Eighties hip-pumping video hits strengthened The Smirk's sex-symbol status, before mid-90s adult contemporary ballads like “Have I Told You Lately" and “All for Love" set the standard for bridal music. ...

JAZZ HUMOR

BugHouse: Pages 11-13

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Pages 1-5 | Pages 6-10 | Pages 11-13 | Purchase BugHouse

About BugHouse Set in an “insect noir" Manhattan of the early fifties, BugHouse is the tumultuous story of Tenor saxophonist, Jimmy Watts, as he leads his talented jazz band of “bugs" from the swing era into the uncharted maelstrom of Bop. And as he and his band mates claw their way to the top of the jazz world, they must fight the temptation to ...

JAZZ HUMOR

BugHouse: Pages 6-10

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Pages 1-5 | Pages 6-10 | Pages 11-13Page 6...

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Pages 1-5 | Pages 6-10 | Pages 11-13 | Purchase BugHouse

About BugHouse Set in an “insect noir" Manhattan of the early fifties, BugHouse is the tumultuous story of Tenor saxophonist, Jimmy Watts, as he leads his talented jazz band of “bugs" from the swing era into the uncharted maelstrom of Bop. And as he and his band mates claw their way to the top of the jazz world, they must fight the ...



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