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Mr. P.C.'s Guide to Jazz Etiquette...

January 2012

By Published: January 5, 2012
You know, BUNGHOLE, so often we blame the victim, and I'm afraid that's exactly what you're doing here. Our charge, instead, should be to heal, and fortunately in this case there's a clear course of action. You see, even inner demons get lonely, and there's no better way to draw them out than to offer them company. Which is to say that when the grunting begins, you should join in, and with vigor. If possible, you should get the drummer to take part as well. Lacking your own authentic demons, you'll need to closely model your sounds after those of the pianist.

So turn challenge into opportunity and borrow from an essential element of jazz—call and response. He grunts, you grunt. He moans, you moan. He lets loose a blood-curdling scream, you reach deep inside and let loose your inner coyote. From there, you can gradually work your way into three-part harmony. Make sure to invite a few forward-thinking critics, and you may just chart a new direction for jazz in the process!

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