HA!!! Just kidding! Hey, advice columnists can have fun, too, right? At least I think those are the rules; if only there were someone I could write to and ask.... So I now get serious: You want me to recommend an instrument you can pick up, skip practicing, and take straight to the bandstand. The answer, of course, is the original instrument: the human voice. It happens all the timesingers get on stage with no training or practicing whatsoever. And the good news is that self-absorbed pianists like your husband just love them! Plus, it couldn't be more practical: He can write all your arrangements for free, and he'll always be available to rehearse. You'll salvage your marriage in no time!
Have a question for Mr. P.C.? Ask him.