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Mr. P.C.'s Guide to Jazz Etiquette...

May 2010

By Published: May 4, 2010
The only variation in this particular version is our savior's detailed getaway plan. "If I could just buy a boat, I could sail away to a deserted island and make a new life while the rest of mankind is slowly felled by out- of-tune versions of "Summertime" and "Fever." I could bring my Guitar Hero controller, practice Led Zeppelin unplugged all day, and maybe even teach myself to read music.

"Then, God willing, the time will finally come when I can sail back. I'll embrace my beloved Marshall stacks and make steamy hot music with them through the night. Then I'll redirect my musical libido into re- propagating the species, and civilization as we know it can begin anew.

"But in order to pay for my boat, I have to aid and abet these homicidal vocalists in a pivotal early phase of their evil crusade—selling my soul, and betraying the musicians around me. Only then will my safe passage—and the future of mankind—be assured."

It's a moral dilemma, all right.

I'm also wondering about the boat payments. My question would be: Should I ask how much you owe?

Have a question for Mr. P.C.? Ask him.

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