Mr. P.C.'s Guide to Jazz Etiquette...

May 2010

By
MR. P.C.,
Mr. P.C.

Mr. P.C.

Columnist since 2009

Inspired by the cutting edge advice of Abigail Van Buren, the storied bass playing of Paul Chambers, and the need for a Politically Correct doctrine for navigating the minefields of jazz etiquette, I humbly offer my services.

Recent articles (43 total)

Published: May 4, 2010

The only variation in this particular version is our savior's detailed getaway plan. "If I could just buy a boat, I could sail away to a deserted island and make a new life while the rest of mankind is slowly felled by out- of-tune versions of "Summertime" and "Fever." I could bring my Guitar Hero controller, practice Led Zeppelin unplugged all day, and maybe even teach myself to read music.

"Then, God willing, the time will finally come when I can sail back. I'll embrace my beloved Marshall stacks and make steamy hot music with them through the night. Then I'll redirect my musical libido into re- propagating the species, and civilization as we know it can begin anew.

"But in order to pay for my boat, I have to aid and abet these homicidal vocalists in a pivotal early phase of their evil crusade—selling my soul, and betraying the musicians around me. Only then will my safe passage—and the future of mankind—be assured."

It's a moral dilemma, all right.

I'm also wondering about the boat payments. My question would be: Should I ask how much you owe?


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