More About All About Jazz
Beat the Christmas rush and embrace the concept now.
AAJ devotees are also very excited about our exclusive Jazz Fantasy League. With real-time stats on over 3,500 current and Hall of Fame musicians, you can make informed decisions on which players to draft and which to trade. Louis Armstrong for Chris Botti might seem like a sucker bet, until you consider that Botti has a new CD coming out soon while Armstrong is still on the DL suffering lingering effects of being dead for 34 years. You can also build your own dream ensembles. Want to see Mingus on bass, Gene Krupa on drums, Michel Petrucciani on piano and Django Reinhardt on guitar? Just plug in your picks and our exclusive system will calculate precisely how much of your life you've wasted that you could have been out getting a date or something.
Such as that is.
It is a well-known fact that jazz fans are hipper, smarter, and more attractive than the average (using Baltimore Colts Hall of Fame tackle Art Donovan and One Day at a Time star Bonnie Franklin as a baseline). It is only natural that they should want to seek the company of others of their ilk, which is why AAJ has introduced our wildly popular Personals. Are you a SHC (Single Hep Cat) seeking a SHC (Single Happenin' Chick) for SHC (Some Hot Coupling)? Don't worry, AAJ has the SHC (Slammin' HTML Code) for you. 1,042 more definitions for the abbreviation SHC available for only $4 from www.shcmeans.biz.
Remember when streaming media on the Internet was reduced to AM transistor radio-quality sound and postage stamp-sized video that looked like it was being hand-animated by a kindergarten class with a cigar box full of broken crayons? Thanks to advances in media compression technologies and exponential increases in available bandwidth, AAJ is now able to offer a multimedia experience that rivals the country's finest drive-in theaters.
Along the same lines, we've also delved into the exciting new world of Podcasting. And before you go into an Invasion of the Body Snatchers-inspired panic and believe that AAJ is somehow responsible for sending coded messages to evil aliens who have come to steal our identities, remember that Podcasting is simply a homegrown distribution model where audio material is encoded in MP3 format and made available via download. It has absolutely nothing to do with insidious mind-stealing creatures from another planet. Nothing. And no one will ever believe such a ludicrous story. No one.
But I digress.
Perhaps one of Monsignor Ricci's favorite developments is the addition of the AAJ Wine Bar. Over 350 wines from all over the world are available for download by the glass or by the bottle. Simply click on your selection, download the .vin file, dispense and pour. Requires USB 2.0, Adobe Alcobat 6.4 or higher. Oenotech's Pourstation sold separately at Circuit City, Best Buy, CompUSA and The Grape Escape locations nationwide.
So there you have it, the latest advancements to keep AAJ and its faithful at the cutting edge of both jazz and technology. Be sure and stay with us as we continue to boldly forge into the 21st century at the forefront of Our Music on the Internet. Till next month, kids, exit to your right and enjoy the rest of AAJ.