Welcome to my suicide.

Now there are all kinds of suicides:

--the pathetic loneliness of the bathtub wrist-slitting

--the artistry of the bullet-medium, white wall brain-Pollack

--the aesthetically void sidewalk splatter

--the profound dignity of morally outraged self-immolation.

My choice is the currently popular “take a whole bunch of muthafuckas with ya” approach.

Every purposeful suicide requires a note, otherwise it’s just a meaningless, self-indulgent act - or pure surrender. I intend to go with middle fingers extended high.

In order for any of this to have meaning I have to do something I’ve never done very well - talk about myself, who I am, what I’ve done.

The chances are that even if you’ve never worked with me or met me, you’ve been at a concert I produced, a performance I’ve arranged, heard a recording I’ve produced, or dealt with someone I’ve taught. But you’ve never seen my picture in Billboard, Down Beat or any trade rag, you’ve never seen me on a concert stage, at the mike, taking bows, making comments, whatever. Maybe you’ve seen me at the sound board, backstage, or dealing with some crisis, but I’ve always tried to keep a low profile. You’ve never seen me at award shows, conferences, jazz-fabs. Maybe the occasional company party, and only if business demanded it.

You’ve seen me on two or three conference panels in 20 years, not so much out of choice, but because the business doesn’t take kindly to real ideas about self-empowerment or to the truth in general. In spite of my years in the business and various accomplishments, the jazz daddies would prefer you believe that I have no information valuable to you. If you’ve ever been to one of those events and received the information from many of those “experts” you’ll understand how truly insulting a notion that is.

I’ve worked in, around, parallel to, and against the jazz biz for 32 years now. For the past 28 years (it took me four years to realize what the business was really about) I’ve tried to help level the playing field on behalf of the artists.

For 23 years, under my direction, Outward Visions, Inc. has been a strong and vital service organization, instrumental in the career development of some of the most influential jazz artists of the past 30 years. We’ve produced or co-produced over 100 concerts, arranged over 1000 more. We’ve raised over $1 million dollars in funding with more than 80% of it going directly to artists and their activities.

Our educational programs have reached thousands of children, students and professionals. We’ve created over $10 million dollars of business activity for jazz. We’ve nurtured jazz presenters and organizations throughout the U.S. and have helped launch the careers of dozens of arts professionals. Many of these people I’m proud of, and a few, like Rob Gibson and James Browne.... well, I offer my sincerest and most profound apologies. We’ve helped set up over 50 not-for-profit organizations, mostly artist oriented, and without charging a fee for our services. Also, at no charge, we’ve advised and assisted hundreds of artists on business matters.

The reason you probably don’t know any of this is because I’ve never indulged in self-promotion. I’ve always felt that professional integrity, honesty, good will and quality work would pay off eventually. That what goes around comes around and that by letting our work and that of the artists working with us speak for itself, we would be able to exert a positive influence in overcoming the huge, old, tired problems confronting the art form.

Imagine a hard, cynical, Brooklyn-Sicilian-Italian like me falling for that one. I guess that’s the price you have to pay for being exposed to the potential of the human spirit that we glimpsed in the Sixties. Now those of us who bought in to that utopian vision are either screaming our rage to anyone who’ll pretend to listen, hiding in rooms with black-painted windows, or dead - which brings us back to my original statement.

As I write this, I’m sitting outside of our home in the Tucson Mountains watching an Arizona sunset with jagged saguaro-studded peaks silhouetted against the explosion of clouds and sunlight. Bobcats, deer, lizards, snakes and all sorts of critters roam through the various cacti and flora surrounding me. Hawks regularly swoop into the wash below letting me watch them soar from above. All kinds of birds abound, including one whose amazing use of intervals must have inspired Dolphy.

The purity and magnificent splendor of this place alone makes life priceless, not to mention all of the other blessings in my life. So this is just a partial suicide, a bloodless seppuku, a “death” in honor for an art form that has been my life’s inspiration, as essential to my existence as food or oxygen. We’ve all experienced that in one way or another. It ties us to this music for life.

There’s no need to go into a personal history of my reasons why. Let’s just say the “Truth, Pulse, Integrity, Wisdom and Spirituality” put forth with such beauty, clarity and urgency...well, as George Clinton says: “give the people what they needs and they needs it all the time.”

We all want to play it and some of us try hard. When we’re finally ready to admit we can’t, the sense of commitment brings us to the business side and the big ol’ dilemma. How far do I acquiesce to the inequity and treachery of the business in order to survive within it?

To me the only course was to work parallel to the business, interacting when necessary, but always directly representing the interests of the artists. Given the incredible inequities of the jazz business, it is the only ethical way. At the same time we worked to develop comprehensive systems for product distribution, business support, management training, fundraising and all of the other necessary components for self-empowerment. We had hopes of providing viable options to artists allowing them to be less dependent upon an increasingly controlling industry.

Over the past year I’ve worked with the Jazz Legacy Partnership toward establishing the programs I mentioned earlier. You’ve never heard of this partnership. Again, self-promotion was not the goal. The efforts of the participants was entirely toward funding and placing the programs.

Through the concerted efforts of the Partnership, the various plans were placed directly into the hands of some of the highest level foundation funding folk in the land, many of whom are, as you read this, in the process of spending lots of research dollars to “identify the issues of potential priorities as to the needs of educational, economical and artistic policies in the present-day reality of jazz activities across various media platforms” -- or is it platfi. Sorry, my grantsmanship has never been too sharp.

Needless to say, our efforts weren’t too successful. Everybody was very supportive, complimentary and outwardly receptive. But nobody had anything to say about the programs themselves. Nothing. Nada. We were not even engaged ina single dialogue pertaining to any of the fundamental aspects of any one of the eight programs laid out. Not a question. Not a suggestion. Not an observation.

Not a clue.

And these were not program advisers, desk jockeys, bean counters or any of the other worker ants climbing the ladder of corporate artsmanship. These were the top guns, head honchos, numero unos, the “buck stops there” folk.

They’re spending years and years and dollars over dollars to hold meetings, fund studies, analyze programs, create partnerships, launch initiatives, etc., yet they’re unable to respond to a direct plan, or even get enough of a grip on the ideas to pose a question - or even criticize. Why? My sense is that they didn’t even read the materials. Maybe a quick scan before our meetings. Probably not even that. You see, there’s no real desire to find solutions.

The business of trying to find solutions is much easier than implementing them. And more lucrative--at least for those who make a living off of the constant search. The tragedy is that the foundation world held the only real hope of improving conditions for jazz artists. The business isn’t going to change. It’s only getting worse. If you think these little mini-lotteries of fame and fortune that the business is dangling are an improvement, then you just don’t know anything about business - and there’s the big problem. Because until you learn about the business and how it really works, you don’t know who to trust or why. And you’ve got to trust somebody, like it or not.

So the funding world says “trust us.” After all these are big time charitable organizations. Big time funding, Big time visibility. These are the people who underwrite and provide life support to big dinosaurs like The Opera and The Symphony and The Ballet. Imagine what that kind of funding could do for Jazz. No artificial corporate profit margins to worry about. Public good. Fine intentions. No more smile-in-a-suit jazz daddies hiding big profits behind “only in it for the art” mouth manure.

It would be so easy to make it true. But it ain’t gonna happen. No way. No how. Millions of dollars have changed hands over the past 10 years and millions more to come. All in the name of jazz. Nine Million Dollars went into the Lila Wallace Jazz Not-work. Hope you enjoyed your share. Of course, many of those involved (read: got paid) in that project would have you believe it was successful. They point to a few tours, but don’t buy into the spin.

Now many of the same folks will be participating in the new Doris Duke boondoggle. I’ll be going into great detail about it another time, but you may have read about it in The Times recently. Six million dollars for jazz--a three year commitment (with two more for $7 million if the Duke board can be cosmetically satisfied). Twelve Presenters! Chamber Music America! Ken Burns! The artists? Yeah, trust us, some of it’ll trickle down to you. Yeah sure. Welcome to the Republican Left--The Fine Arts Business. And you thought the Republican invasion of the arts was about censorship? Sucka, got ya’ again!

The new position of the funding world regarding jazz artists is that you are neither interested in nor able to handle the standard business methods employed by all of the other fine arts. Therefore they’ve taken on the job of finding new ways for you to do your business. Ways that are more in keeping with your business abilities. This was told to me directly by some of those same bigwigs I mentioned earlier. Directly. With no shame. Can you spell “p.l.a.n.t.a.t.i.o.n m.e.n.t.a.l.i.t.y”?

Somehow they feel that men and women who play the most complex and difficult music in the world don’t have the ability to handle standard business methods. You know where they got the idea of that? Directly from musicians. And why not? Look at how you conduct your business. You sign contracts that nobody else would begin to tolerate--if there’s a contract at all. And why? Gigs. Gigs, man. All we need is gigs. The funding world “feels your pain,” they “hear your pleas.” So they give millions of dollars to presenters to create gigs--for Wynton. (When I address the new Duke ‘initiative’ in an upcoming piece, I’ll show you exactly why these new funds will be benefitting Lincoln Center and not you.)

So what’s left? The musicians take control? Give me a break. You’re not even in control of the music anymore. You’ve let it be grabbed away from you and from the real audience by a bunch of greedy businessmen, clueless, intimidated arts professionals and a few well chosen false prophets anointed by self serving jazz pros. And there’s the greatest tragedy of all--the music itself is no longer controlled by its creators.

And where does that leave someone like me? On the ledge, top floor - with a rifle, a high powered ink gun of truth. Even if just a little slips through, truth is an incredibly powerful weapon in a world of synthetic manufacture.

Truth will always be Truth, so the Music will ultimately survive all of this. But only when y’all are ready to embrace Truth again. As for me, the only way that I can continue to work in a meaningful way is devote all of my energies toward disruption, destruction and exposure of the utter ugliness that has been devouring what once was a glorious art form. To that end I will be burning all bridges and destroying all of my business options.

I will truly become a pariah, rejected by all of you who just don’t want the truth. And that means just about every one of you. The last thing jazz professionals want is Truth. As long as you maintain the facade, everything’s fine. But if you’re about Truth...well, you may as well just check out. And that goes for the music as well. Who would have ever thought that an art form of such magnificent Truth could be controlled by such a phoney bunch of muthafuckas.

I’m not trying to be a savior, just a single voice trying to bring some truth to those of you who want to hear it, and even more importantly, for future participants who will need it. Make of it what you can. If you think this information has some value, pass it around to each other. But don’t contact me--unless you have something valuable to contribute or you see mutual value in our communicating. Complaints, criticisms, defenses? Who cares? Don’t waste my time. Save it for your panel discussions at the BET/Billboard/IAJE ”More for me, none for you” conference.

Keep your eyes posted here for information about future pieces. All I can promise is they won’t be dull and they’ll only be about the Truth.

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