From that legendary and still undiscovered Buddy Bolden cylinder to last night’s record session, collectors of recorded jazz have had a curious fascination with undiscovered and unreleased material. What treasures remain secreted in the vaults of record companies? Rumors abound but the Pariah knows a lot of things…

MULLIGAN MEETS PAVAROTTI  (Milan, 1967)  By the late 60’s Norman Granz was fairly running out of Mulligan Meets ideas. MGM, who now owned Verve Records, suggested shelving this project until “such time as the record buying public had a lot more money than sense.” Critics who’ve heard the master tape, however, say that when Messrs. M. & P. trade fours on the Festive Minor/Ave Maria/Goofus medley they couldn’t help but tap their toes. Move over, Bobby McFerrin, the Pavster scats with the best of them.

CREED TAYLOR’S “BIG DARN DEAL WITH WAY TOO MANY MUSICIANS” FEATURING THE BERLIN PHILHARMONIC (AUGMENTED), MEMBERS OF THE LONDON SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA, LORD OF THE DANCE, WOODY ALLEN’S JAZZ BAND, YANNI PLAYING SAMPLED HARRY JAMES PHRASES WITH KEITH JARRETT (VOCAL MUTTERS) BACKED BY THE HI-LO’S, THE COLDSTREAM GUARDS, THE FLECKTONES AND THE UMO BIG BAND WITH CHRISTIAN McBRIDE ON BASS PLAY THE MUSIC OF CARL STALLINGS WITH SPECIAL GUESTS THE JATP ALL STARS AND  BASIE ALUMNI CONDUCTED BY DON SEBESKY. (New York, London, Helsinki, 1983-1998) A costly venture doomed from the start. Taylor, after insisting there be no overdubs (despite claims he invented the technique), could round up only 758 microphones and a studio complex with a scant 23 bathrooms. CBS Special Projects, happy to foot the bill by selling off its TV rights to NFL Football (again), still came up short on cash. What reportedly remains on the 48-track vaulted master is just 3 minutes of Stallings’ beloved music— that indelible scene where Elmer Fudd shoves his shotgun down Bug’s rabbit hole but blows his pants off instead.

FREE JAZZ. REALLY. (Philadelphia, 1998) Gratis Records, talking a cue from Laserlight and other budget labels, produced this album with the thought of paying YOU to buy their product. The concept here was to make up their loss by gouging critics and disc jockeys. 

DUKE ELLINGTON: EVERYTHING EVER RECORDED INCLUDING ALTERNATE TAKES, FALSE STARTS AND BREAKDOWNS. (Various venues, 1923-1974) Well, Mosaic almost pulled it off. This planned compilation (12,875 CD’s, 19,434 audiophile Q-LP’s) was abandoned when the mastering facility caved in under its own weight destroying the entire project. Too bad, too—with each set you would have received a profusely illustrated booklet and your own fork lift.

ELLA FITZGERALD SINGS THE ROD McKUEN SONGBOOK (Los Angeles, 1961) This was to be another in Ella’s lavishly produced and packaged Songbook series but word has it little remains since many of those involved in the session hung themselves with portions of the master tape. 

DON BYRON PLAYS STRAIGHT AHEAD JAZZ MUSIC. (New York, 1998) Picture this: Brilliant clarinetist Don Byron with a tight acoustic rhythm section and perhaps another horn or two playing a mix of standards and originals mostly in 2/4 time. What a concept. But his label thought it might be a bit radical for Byron. Maybe we can hope for a bootleg someday.

RAHSAAN ROLAND KIRK LIVE: ALL BUT THE KITCHEN SINK! (Des Moines, 1971) Ron Burton, piano; Steve Novosel, bass; Jimmy Hopps, drums; Rahsaan Roland Kirk, stritch, Manzello, bagpipe, krumhorn, digeree doo, sackbut, turkey baster, fog horn, bicycle pump, sausage tubing, colostomy bag, FloBee, Hoola Hoop, Goo-Goo Doll, alto intestine, baritone condom, drain pipe, vacuum cleaner, water wings, bubble wrap, pita pocket, buzz bomb, kitchen sink. I guess Rhino passed on this one. Don’t you just miss Rahsaan?

MILES DAVIS WITH THE GIL EVANS ORCHESTRA: LET’S DISCO! (New York, 1961) Well, maybe some things are best left in the vault.