By Dave Hughes
As some of you know, I've been selling off some of my obscenely massive collection of CDs on eBay. Of course, I've been doing my share of buying, too. In my travels through eBayLand, I have encountered these items actually offered for sale. These are actual band names and CD titles. I swear I'm not making any of this stuff up. I have also included the CD label too, if that somehow adds to the curious intrigue of the item.
Many of these bands are apparently not counting on receiving mainstream radio airplay.
- Mors Syphilitica ÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂ ÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂPrimroseÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂ, 'Feather & Fate'
- Jack Off Jill - 'Sexless Demons and Scars'
- Elvis Hitler - 'Supersadomasochisticexpialidocious'
- Bastard Sons of Johnny Cash ÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂ ÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂWalk AloneÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂ
- Impotent Sea Snakes - 'Excess'
- Therapy? - 'Suicide Pact-You First'
- Dashboard Confessional - 'The Places You Have Come To Fear the Most'
- God Lives Underwater - 'Life In the So-Called Space Age'
- Ambient Temple of Imagination - 'Planetary House Nation' (on the Mindspore Records label)
- Goatwhore - 'The Eclipse of Ages into Black' (on the Rotten Record label, and I'm inclined to believe it)
- The String Cheese Incident - 'Outside InsideÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂ
- Orgy - 'Vapor Transmission'
- Corpse Vomit ÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂ ÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂDrowning in PukeÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂ
- Vomitory ÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂ ÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂRevelation NauseaÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂ
- Sex with Lurch ÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂ self-titled; I guess the group name says it all.
- Nashville Pussy ÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂ ÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂLet Them Eat PussyÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂ (on the Amphetamine Reptile label)
- Nashville Pussy ÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂ ÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂEat More PussyÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂ
- Appendix Out ÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂ ÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂThe Rye Bears a Poison' (on the Drag City Records label)
- Paingod (formerly Raped Ape) - I wonder why they changed their name?
- Children On Stun - 'Celibacy & Anadin'
- Betty Blowtorch - 'Are You Man Enough?' (on Foodchain Records)
- Choking Victim - 'No Gods/No Managers' (on Hellcat Records)
- Phonsychographdisk vs. the Filthy Ape - 'Mooch the Moose: Smack Dealer to the Stars'
- Kill Your Idols - 'Funeral For A Feeling' (on the Side One Dummy label)
- Fabulous Disaster (an all-girl heavy metal band, see poster below - charming, huh?) - 'Put Out Or Get Out'. 13 songs including ÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂRich Bitches In VolvosÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂ (on the Pink & Black label, distributed by Fat Wreck Chords)
And then thereÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂs a compilation: 'Fat Music Volume V: Live Fat, Die Young' CD by various artists on the Fat Wreck Chords label. Featured artists include SwinginÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂ Utters (sic), Snuff, Frenzal Rhomb, Zero Down, Sick of it All and more.
And just to prove that you can find ANYTHING on a CD these daysÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂ
'Pull My Finger - 99 tracks of Flatulent Sound Effects'. I swear IÃÂÃÂÃÂÃÂm not making this up. Claims to be all natural sound but some of these apparently sound like phony synthesizer-made sounds. This CD includes special fart versions of "Yankee Doodle Dandy", "Silent Night" and "Beethoven's 5th Movement" (pun intended, I'm sure).
There's only thing more astonishing than this CD... I actually bought it!
