January 2001

By Walter Price

Look, who gives a rat's behind about "Louis" Marsalis and the Couch. Their ideas of democracy exist everywhere else EXCEPT in jazz. Jazz at the Lincoln Center is more an oligarchy or an aristocracy with those guys ruling as the two ephors of the jazz polis. Correction, this is probably a two-headed monarchy because they think, speak, and say the same things.

Jazz, democracy, and "Louis" Marsalis, what a disjointed combination. Wait, is this the same democratic "Louis" that cannot be touched with anything electrical or he will whine excessively about the corruption of jazz tradition by musical helots! Helots like Jimmy Smith, Pat Metheny, Sonny Rollins, David Sanborn, Albert Ayler, or Archie Shepp-you know jazz musicians who sell out, play with electrical instruments, try to be original in their improvisational playing, you know people who play what "Louis" doesn't like-that's not jazz. "Louis" and the Couch would let everybody have their voice in jazz as long as they met then criteria for what jazz is as laid down by these arrogant elitists.

I'm not Nostradamus, but let me use my psychic powers to tell you what "Louis" and the "Couch" will be talking about on Mr. Burns' documentary. Let me remind you I have not seen one second of this documentary yet. You will be amazed at my powers. "Louis" and the "Couch" will praise the Duke, Pops ("Louis's" father), the Count and "traditional" jazz musicians or "traditional" jazz music. Oh yeah, they will have to throw in a blues referenced cliché to let everybody know that THEY know where the roots of all American music comes from. They will vilify the "commercialization" i.e. fusion/free jazz music of the late 60s to the present. They will sing that classic blues tune, "Miles ain't no jazz musician no more because he wants to be a rock star, oh no oh no oh no!!!!" In the end "Louis" and the "Couch" are the standard bearers of jazz tradition today preserving the music, its roots, and its honor for all its few hundred fans. Now to tell you the winner of the Super Bowl in January 2001!

Please Mr. Burns, I hope you have people on your little ode to jazz to lambaste and call out these elitist jazz ogres. Have someone ask "Louis" why his music and his composing of operas and plays sound so tired. Ask "Louis" what is jazz and who is playing jazz-like is his brother Branford playing jazz? Why doesn't he play with other jazz giants a la Sonny Rollins or Elvin Jones -whoops I forgot they should be playing with him because HE IS A JAZZ GIANT today. Ask why nobody puts his albums on any list to take to a desert island. I bet my money, though he will never admit it, the "Couch" would take a Miles album before a "Louis" album. Ask the "Couch" if anyone understands his liner notes or his articles. Lastly, are some jazz musicians more equal than others!